Hopeful Moments

Happy New Year! 2 0 1 2

2012-01-02T11:05:00.002+08:00

The year 2011 is over just like that! I haven't been inspired to blog over the past few months and was contemplating on starting a new blog, but obviously this very first blog of mine is too precious to be abandoned just like that.

2011 has been an eventful one for me. I was settling into living with my family after 6 years of being away. Then I got married. Went for almost a 2 week long honeymoon in Italy. Moved in with my in laws. Started a new job (yes I found a job in October month) and resigned in the span of 2 months. Went for 2 different 10km runs for the first time in my adult life. Caught up with more sewing (a new found hobby :) ). Received the house keys to our new home just 2 days before 2011 ended.

As usual, the new year hasn't exactly settled into the system yet. But I can't wait for all the things which is gonna happen in 2012. I have already booked holidays to Bangkok and Taiwan plus a Redang Island trip in planning process. Gonna start the exciting works on the new house and hopefully be able to move in by end March :) Have some business plan ideas which hopefully will finally carry out this year too!

What's installed for you this new year?

To infinity and beyond!~ Cheers :)

Honeymoon in Italy - Day Four (Amalfi Coast)

2011-08-23T21:16:00.006+08:00

We didn't have to set a time to wake up for once in those four days! What a nice day indeed :)

Our breakfast at Al Pesce D'oro B&B - Some kinda hard biscuit / bread with a selection of jams, butter or nutella

Warm crossaint with icing sugar powdered over

Our favourite fruit platter! (The waiter asked if we wanted it with lemon juice and sugar, we thought it was kinda weird to have it that way but figured out that must be the way the locals enjoy their fruits, so we opted for the lemon but skipped the sugar cause we are healthy like that :P)

After that we took a Sita bus to Amalfi Town. Its kinda a small town area where most tourists would hang out cause there are loads of shops which sells souvenirs there. While we were at the town, we sort of figured out that lemon must be their famous produce. Almost every souvenir was with a lemon logo on it and they had all sorts of lemon products - liqueurs, soaps, sweets, risotto (I bought that for my brother and he said it was yums!) and loads more...

Look at the size of their lemons! The middle ones are huge!! Almost as big as my head...

I think this was the local veg they put in our pizza the day before

Some random fountain....

But look closer...there are little figurines placed all over! How cute~

Posing in front of Amalfi Cathedral (there were other better looking photos, but I just like this one best...Hehe)

Different angle of the Cathedral...

View from the Cathedral...its really quite a small town....

Look at the solid metal used for the Cathedral's door!

The bell tower

Enjoying the al fresco style dining with his plate of cannelloni

This was what hubby was looking at....

My lunch - lasagne (Wanted salmon with penne but they ran out of it...boohoo*)

Lemon cake - which was almost forced on us by the most aggressive waitress ever! But hubby liked this waitress alot (ahem* she is probably late forties, not young girl :P) cause she was very convincing and had a 'flair' to waitressing. We even gave her a tip cause we were that impressed.

Don't let the outside of the cake fool you - It really is a lemon cake - A very yummy one too....

We bought some stamps and a postcard to write to my in-laws - This is proof of postage, just in case the postcard never arrives....

Random view of the coast near Amalfi - But you really need to be there in order to 'feel' the moment

Went back to Al Pesce D'oro for dinner - I ordered vongole

Tomato and Onion pizza on the house....

Nic ordered fish from the second course - They actually presented the whole fish to him before they set it aside and de-boned the thing into what you see in this picture

Let me explain abit of their menu. This is from my own observation, so it might not necessary be right. They had a menu consisting Appetizers, Main / First Course, Second Course, Desserts and as for drinks, they usually will ask if you would like water, then offer you some wine to go with your meal, and when you are done with dessert, they will offer you some coffee or liqueurs or aperetifs. Their appetizers will have the usual salad and finger food. Main or first course usually consists of pasta or pizza. Second course will offer you meat stuff or fish. I'm sure dessert needs no introduction, dessert is dessert. We usually are quite full with just a main course alone, but the locals there can really eat! We've seen most of them order from the menu A to Z - meaning every single course I've just mention, they will have something from it! *gulps* Amazing appetite....

Anyway, back to food - we also ordered croquettes - super fluffy and yummy!

They were unusually generous that night - Limoncello (lemon liqueur) on the house

We were quite worried about how our bill would turn out like during our stay at this B&B, cause we keep putting the meal tabs to our room. I don't think they usually have that practice but they were being very accomodating when we requested for it. But hubby said its our honeymoon...so chill~

Okay...chilling....next up day trip to Capri!

Honeymoon in Italy - Day Three (Amalfi Coast)

2011-08-16T21:21:00.008+08:00

Breakfast at Hotel Napolitano

We woke up to (what we thought would be) a totally promising day filled with excitement as we were leaving stress town - Napoli (because its full of pick pockets apparently) and heading to our highlighted honeymoon destination - Amalfi Coast.

Little did we know....

We bought a bus ticket like the day before (€1.20 per tix), but this time we took a bus in the opposite direction. We boarded the bus, still very worried about pick pockets and our belongings. Did I mentioned that they have a weird ticketing system in Italy? You need to stamp your ticket at some machine in the bus to validate the ticket when you board the bus. Did I also mentioned that we were lugging around super heavy luggages while being worried about caring for our valuables? So yeah...we boarded the bus with the tickets, but because we were so busy trying to find a safe spot to stand in the crowded bus with all that luggage, we didn't stamp the tickets. I repeat, we DIDN'T stamp the tickets. We observed that nobody did either, so we thought it was okay to do the same. Then, as luck would have it, two guys boarded the bus to check on tickets....

Damn. In my head, I was already going through my tourist dialogue and I'm just gonna insist that I didn't know that we had to stamp those tickets. We showed our tickets to them. They just looked at us, then proceed to check on other tickets. The thing is, they didn't return our tickets and they started eyeing each other. Me and hubby thought we were safe from trouble...until we reached the terminal. Then everyone started getting off, these two monkeys collecting the ticket cornered us and started telling us that we did not validate our tickets. So I told him we were tourist and we didn't know cause nobody told us and we didn't see anyone doing that. He showed me how to validate one ticket then proceed to tell us that we had to pay a fine for the other one. The fine was €41.20. Damn...the ticket was barely a fraction of that!

Hubby had all the money with him, he just started making a move for the wallet and wanted to pay them. I was boiling with madness. He didn't even protest or put up a fight. I just kept telling the two monkeys we weren't going to pay for that crazy amount. Then one of them took out a police badge to frighten us. He said if we didn't pay up, he was going to bring us to the police station and God knows what else he said. Hubby didn't want trouble, so he just paid them the money. I was seriously SOOOOOO mad I could burn a house down....

Me and Nic were barely talking after that. We took a train to Sorrento (€4 per tix). It was super crowded on the train. Alot of tourists and locals were going to Pompei for a famous sight seeing spot. Some volcano I think. We didn't go cause it would've taken up too much of our travel time.

Super angry Nic - still mad from what happened about the ticket fine

Anyway, we made up during the train ride. Its difficult to be mad at each other when you are travelling. Especially when everyone else around you are in super happy mood. We took a Sita Bus (€7 per tix) just across the road of the Sorrento train station. We were gonna stay at Al Pesce D'oro at Amalfi. The bus ride was the craziest! It was super winding roads and many a times it was narrow too. We were standing in the bus and every time it took a turn, our hearts took a dive.

This was a glimpse from the bus ride along the coastal area...

We finally reached our B&B - couldn't wait to check in and have lunch after the whole morning of drama.

The corridor leading to our 'Margherita' room

Balcony area overlooking the coast

One small room which we used for our luggages

Our B&B for 3 nights

This shower had moments of cold shower off and on - it is also not advisable to sing in the shower cause the staircase leading to the Al Pesce D'oro restaurant was just outside...

Finally lunch! Yummy parma ham with mozzerella cheese and capers

Pouring some chilli olive oil into his seafood risotto

Lost?!

We took a long walk to Amalfi Town after lunch. Was quite scary cause there were lots of blind spots on a narrow winding road where buses, motorcycles and cars were all driving like mad men. The weather was surprisingly chilly even though it was summer. I expected sun, sea, sand and lots of bikini clad tourists and locals, but that was nowhere to be seen...

The Amalfi sign

We spotted a beach area somewhere along our walk....but it was deserted...

Lots of lemon orchards along the walk too

I've never seen such a tight bunch of bougainvilleas!!

After the long walk, we headed back to our B&B for some dinner. I think our B&B is quite famous for its food as during the time that we stayed there, they always had a healthy crowd arriving for dinner. Al Pesce D'oro was a family owned business and they had a split level restaurant. Upstairs and downstairs was managed by different brothers but they shared the same staff.

Al Pesce D'oro Restaurant (upstairs)

Our first seaview dinner - some gigantic pizza (with 6 different flavors)

#1 - Margherita

#2 - Zuchinni

#3 - Rocket leaves and Tomato

#4 - Chorizo sausages with some local veg

#5 - Parma Ham

#6 - Chorizo sausages with some local veg....Wait~ Didn't I already post this one up? Opps...I must have lost #6 upclose or mixed it up cause the one with the green stuff all looked the same! (This would teach me to blog about something 3 months later :P)

Oh well, overall we had a great dinner. Super filling! Next - Day four coming up....

Honeymoon in Italy - Day Two (Napoli)

2011-08-09T22:05:00.005+08:00

I know its a little bit off to be blogging about my holiday which was two and a half months ago, but better late than never right? *bleh*

Anyway, after our one night stay at Rome, we woke up fresh from a good-hotel-night's-sleep and proceed to the restaurant for the free breakfast. It was a simple spread of crossaints, pastries, breads and buns, fresh fruits, cold cuts, yoghurts, fruits juices and lots of coffee. If my memory still serves me well, I think Roma Point Hotel had one of the best selection for breakfast throughout our stay in Italy.

This is 'some' of the breakfast we had.

I think Europeans generally have very little breakfast. They usually have some bread, yoghurt or fruit and a cup of juice or coffee, and they are done. We keep getting stares when we went back for a second round of cold cuts with cheese. Hmm...maybe we just looked greedy. Hehe....

So after the hearty breakfast, we packed up and took a taxi from hotel to Termini train station. Cabs are super expensive! We spent about €28 just like that! *gulps* We bought a train ticket to Napoli (which is € 10.50 per pax).

Proof of purchase

When we reached Napoli train station, we had to take a bus to our hotel. Imagine lugging all that luggage. Hubby's nightmare started. We didn't even know where to board the bus, we just kept following people and walked back and forth with luggages in tow. People there were not too friendly when we asked for directions. We were also told that Napoli wasn't the safest town. It was all over the internet on travel forums that tourists had the worst luck with pick pockets there. It was stressful to be worried about your belongings at the same time when you are lost.

We finally found the bus and got to Hotel Napolitano. The building was some kinda shared office building which looked nothing like a hotel (freaking run down). The lift was even more dodgy. It was the super fat buttons which was green and red colored. It was tiny and felt like it was gonna break down any moment. But lucky for us, the hotel wasn't too bad.

My favourite bathroom (throughout the whole holiday) Separate from the toilet area with a tight door and super hot shower....Ahhhhhh....yums....

They had limited toiletries to offer, but it was fine by me :)

Hotel Napolitano

We had no rest cause we were on a mission to find the most popular pizza place. Nic said he read that Napoli had the best pizza and he found some directions to lead us to one. It was about 20 minutes walk from our hotel.

Stopped for a random photo at some University - the statue area which he is posing with smelt like 100 people pee-ed there! Eewww~

Da Michele (pronounced as Da Mi-ke-le I think). We found it! Julia Roberts was there when she filmed 'Eat, Pray, Love'

They had a super simple menu with the cheapest price! :)

Magherita pizza at a NORMAL size. I thought they got my order wrong and gave me a maxi instead....

This restaurant had more tourists than local people. We saw mostly Americans and there were a Japanese family and a couple of others. The serving was huge but the pizza was not overly cheesy (in a good way) so it was still good. I'd definitely recommend this place.

We walked around after our huge pizza meal and came across this church - Naples Cathedral or better known as San Gennaro Cathedral.

Its interior was super impressive despite the humble outlook. It was really grand. Nic had an awe moment when he stepped in. Unfortunately we have no pictures to share as it was not allowed to take photos inside of the cathedral.

Castello Nuovo

This castle was closed by the time we got there. So we only took very few photos outside. We had quite an enjoyable day in Napoli despite all the pick pocketing we were so worried about. Nic was so paranoid that he made sure I carried nothing at all.

We were so tired by the time we got back to the hotel. Get rest. Next day - Amalfi!

Honeymoon in Italy - Day One (Rome)

2011-07-06T21:42:00.008+08:00

We boarded the flight from KLIA to Dubai then to Rome - Fiumicino Airport. Departure was graveyard early morning on the 7th June (so technically, we were already at the airport on 6th June). We flew with Emirates.

We were still fresh for the journey....

I've been kinda used to sleeping on airplane seat, but Nic was totally unused to it. The poor guy kept tossing and turning, head bobbing, it was totally uncomfortable for him. But lucky for him, they served Roti Jala, his favourite. Not the most fantastic one, but better than nothing especially since we were going to a land of pasta and pizzas...

Quite sad looking...

The journey took us about 7 hours plus minus, then we reached Dubai. The last time we travelled to Greece, we had already tour the whole airport because we had a freaking 9 hour transit. So this time, we decided to try and catch up on sleep. We had 4 hours to kill. So we tried to sleep abit, then freshen up and had some breakfast.

Now this is what you call food...Chicken Salad with Hot Chocolate for breakkie :)

We then continued on our journey to Rome. Which was another 6 - 7 hours of flying with Emirates. We couldn't wait to touch down in Rome. Too much airplane food and being cramped in the seat was driving my hubby nuts! We finally reached and took a Leonardo Express train to the main station Termini, so that we could journey to Roma Point Hotel which we already booked a night in.

Many others travelled this way too

Okay, the story was...we booked our hotels online after tonnes of research about location, cleaniness, service, value for price, etc. We picked Roma Point Hotel, even though we read about it being far but at a reasonable pricing and then we thought to ourselves, how far can it be? Well it was a managable distance...but according to hubby it is freaking far when you are carrying a 27kg luggage bag dragging it across roads and never ending stairs and not to mention pedestrian bridges. We had to take the Leornado Express train from the airport (which was €14 per pax) to Termini main station. Then we had to take a metro to Flaminio and switch to another train which will bring us to Grotta Rossa. Their metro tix works best if you are staying few days and just buy the 3 day pass or something like that. But we were just there till the next day, so we bought the normal ticket which is €1 per pax and is valid for 75 mins after your first validation. So, yeah, we bought the tix and went to Grotta Rossa.

When we got off the train, we felt so lost, cause it looked deserted and there was a big office / bus station-without buses / open land car park on one side and a highway on the other. We just followed the few people who got off and went through an underground crossing (with never ending flights of stairs). The lift looked super dodgy and I don't think anyone would be able to rescue us if the lift got stuck. Nic ran after this one lady who was going to find her car in the parking area while I waited with the bags. She was so kind to help us locate the hotel by calling them for directions. But we were totally going crazy when we found out where it was. We had to go through the underground crossing again (with that never ending flights of stairs), then walk along the road beside a highway, cross a pedestrian bridge (which smelt like poo and stinking pee), then walk along a street (about 150 metres?) before we reached Roma Point Hotel.

Hubby was so happy to finally reach the hotel

Roma Point Hotel - Room

Roma Point Hotel - Bathroom

The hotel was alright. It was quite clean and spacious but the bathroom had a weird shower though. The shower head was right in the middle, but the sliding doors wouldn't close tight, so when we showered, the water keep flooding the whole bathroom area. But we were just happy to be in a hotel instead of the airplane. So we got changed and went out to Flaminio. The weather was surprising chilly for summer. We walked around Piazza Flaminio and found a restaurant in a little street alley kinda place for our dinner.

My plate of raviolli in pomodoro sauce - bleh only...

Hubby's plate of four cheese pizza - was a little bit tOoooooOOo salty....

We found a book shop on the same street alley selling loads of cool books, comic books, postcards, tin tin stuff, but the weird thing, most of the books were in french! Hmm....Anyway, we headed back to rest before it started turning dark cause the route back to hotel wasn't exactly the safest looking.

So I'm gonna continue day two....when I'm in the mood to blog again! ;)

Tick tock tick tock...kringgggggg!!!!!

2011-06-26T01:28:00.002+08:00

Nic read the first line of my previous few blogs and said I'm boring. I've been constantly neglecting my blog and telling the whole world how this time beats the previous time record of the longest negligence.

Probably not wise to mention that anymore. Hehe~

Anyway, the days have been passing real quick, then it becomes months, and now its already half year. Its almost coming to a year since we've moved back to KL. All those planning for wedding after I stopped working. Can't believe that its already taken place! I'm married!! The whole planning process took such a long time. All the excitement, the arguments, the anticipation, the ups and the downs.....everything just for that one day - D-DAY! Then the D-Day zipped past just like that.

During D-Day, I can barely recall who said what, who did what, who wore what. But I can remember trying to keep track and make sure everything ran as per scheduled. So many things didn't turn out the way we wanted. So many things we were persistent about before, but didn't even noticed during D-Day. So many things were unpredictable and we didn't have a back up for it. It was crazy real-time-can't-take-two-event!

To future brides out there, never ever think you'll have time to chill the day before your wedding. Even if you had everything under control, you'll never know what takes you by surprise. I had a few appointments for manicure, waxing and to pick up some friends from airport. And because of a four hour manicure, I had to push my waxing to the following day. Following day was suppose to be a chill day. Just rehearsal / set up of canopy at church, pick up my gown, and then prepare some flowers for the flower girls and brides maids, dinner at my house, I really thought it was all covered. But cause of my waxing appointment carried forward, I had to add one extra to the list. Then, the canopy was suppose to be set up when we were there for rehearsal, they decided to come later than planned time, so it started to have a domino effect. Plus, there was some last minute mix up about some pre-nuptial documents we had to sign before marriage in a church. Then seriously, everything just started going downhill from there.

The day before my D-Day was quite a rough one. Far from what I had in mind.

It really seemed like nothing could go wrong on D-Day after that. But there are just 1001 things that can surprise you. I'm only glad that hubby was there to share those moments with me and we'll have that 1001 things to talk about when we reminisce about our wedding.

I'm still alive!

2011-06-22T00:44:00.001+08:00

OMG...

This must have been the longest break ever I took from blogging. Almost forgotten my password when signing in. Yes...the whole world was moving forward while I neglected this blog. My world changed a whole lot....

Updates coming soon....promise....

A Letter To Myself

2011-04-05T23:12:00.000+08:00

Dear 'The-Other-Side-Of-Me', How have you been? I hope things are good on your side? I've been trying to be a good girl. I think I've been doing quite well. Not thinking too much about stressfull things. Trying to keep cool at everything. Pacing myself with the wedding preparations. But today, I had a conversation with mommy which made me feel awful right after. I felt crappy. I felt lousy. I felt stress. I felt like giving up. You know how loved ones can affect you that way. Cause you just want to make them proud, be perfect to them all the time and hear them sing praises of you. But I felt so horrible. It was just a small matter about some wedding stuff. But it felt like a big deal to me cause when I proposed the idea to her, she was all out in supporting me. But the moment I share with her some negative feedbacks which I have received, she started saying things which felt like 'I told you so'. Mommy thinks its not always wise for her to share her advice with me nowadays, cause I have different opinions and ways of thinking. She feels like I'm making my decisions as an adult and she's trying not to interfere with that. But I got upset, when she started saying all of these because it felt like she thinks that I've made many disappointing decisions. And that just didn't felt good. I feel so lost. Why was she supporting me one moment then the next moment she said that I shouldn't be doing this or that? I love my mommy alot. She's like my super idol. I wanna grow up to be just like her. But right now I feel so useless and nothing like my mom. I'm not independant like her, I'm not creative like her, I'm not organized like her, I'm not a great cook like her, I'm not hardworking like her and I'm not strong like her. I'm crumbling inside :( Love, Imhopeful

♥ Happy Belated Valentine's ♥

2011-02-15T00:19:00.002+08:00

I can't believe I haven't blogged in months! This must be the longest blog break for me ever...

Haven't been doing much. Was just busy prepping for Chinese New Year, then busy catching up with family and friends over CNY and then busy prepping for the wedding. So much to do, yet I just can't seem to make a move and get things going.

I've felt so uninspired for the past few months. Like I've lost my 'heat' and 'heart' in life. Not a good thing I know...but I just can't seem to help it. It doesn't mean I don't feel happy. The feeling is more of a 'draining' and 'tired' feeling. Its been affecting me and the people around me. I've been trying to snap out of it and I think I've been a good girl so far. Trying to keep Nic's advise close to heart about taking things lightly and don't sweat the small stuff.

Thank you sayang for always walking me through thick and thin.

Happy (belated) Valentine's Day everyone :)

2011 is almost here!!

2010-12-28T14:51:00.000+08:00

I can't believe its the last few days of 2010!

Where did all of it went?

This has been the-most-changes-in-a-year year for me. The greek holiday, the London proposal, the resignation, the moving back to KL, the house hunting, the wedding preparations...so much has happened!

Since I finished the temporary job stint last month, I was preparing for the pre-wedding photo session due the following week in Singapore. It was super! We didn't have a really smooth trip, but that day when we were taking photos, the weather was awesome, the crew were fun, my hubby was happy, that made me happy! It was memorable, and I would love to do it all over again. Hehe :) After the awesome time I had at the pre-wedding photoshoot, my relatives came to visit in KL and I was busy taking them out and playing host.

There was also painting works which created so much havoc in the family house. Moving furniture, throwing out things, wiping and dusting, all the flying dirt and chemical smell was driving me insane! Christmas was here before I knew it. My first time celebrating with hubby's family. Really felt warm fuzzy. I know it means alot to Nic especially.

Now is counting down to new year! And then I'm left with 5 months to get everything right for our wedding! Better get the organizing on full gear this time!!

What am I doing?

2010-10-18T00:07:00.000+08:00

I can't believe that I haven't blogged for almost two months. This might be the longest I've left my blog at a stand still. I almost forgotten my ID and password to login, that bad.

I'm totally living a different lifestyle now. Not skipping to lunch or wedding researching anymore. I'm working. Temporary, as an admin kinda thingy for a corporate communications department in some company. I'm glad the word temporary existed. I often wonder if I'll ever survive office work since I've never really did it full time, ever in my life. Now the answer is quite an apparent - Yes. I don't think I will survive it. At least not in the corporate communications department. So much office politics, so rigid work hours, stupid jam, parking problems, it seems like the list might never end.

I guess I took up this temporary job offer cause I really felt like sitting at home feels really unproductive. I wasn't earning anything, and every time I offer to pay anything these days, people get defensive and says I'm not allowed to pay cause I'm not getting any income. I know its kinda silly to fight for this kinda stuff, I mean, who will say no to free lunch right? But I'm so used to being financially independent. I love to spend my friends and family every once in awhile. But now even my mom refuses to take allowances from me. Its so frustrating!

Also, I didn't think planning for my wedding would take up so much time. Most of the decisions I needed to make felt like it could be done over the weekend. Now weekend comes and all I wanna do is sleep and spend time with my family and friends.

Sigh~

But I won't give up. Its another one and a half months and I'm over with this job. The only consolation for me now is I get to spend every working day with my sis. She actually introduced me to this part time thing. So I'm in the same company as her. We car pool to work, we lunch together and car pool home. The only fun part about working.

I need to reclaim my happy self again....

Wedding Jitters

2010-08-25T12:34:00.001+08:00

"My sister is damn awesome!"

I wanted to start writing some updates about what I have been up to recently but didn't know where to start. I told my sis about it and she asked me to start with that. So not shy. But I still love her ;)

Since I mentioned that life has been slow moving since coming back here, I have been religiously reading bridal magazines, wedding planning books, bridal forums, sourcing for the best dinner location, looking at possible future love nest, researching for stuff online, house-hunting and just chilling (yes I still have time for that...haha).

I admit that when I started doing all of those things in the first week, I was close to going crazy. I barely had time to discuss anything with Nic cause he worked late and I didn't want to be the one making all decisions. We were constantly snapping at each other almost everytime we met up or spoke over the phone.

Then that one day, while I was showering, I was thinking a whole lot. I seriously didn't want to go through hell planning a wedding. I want to remember it, enjoy it, love every moment of it. Its something I want to look back at with good memories. So we talked about it, we calmed down each other's nerves, and I've not looked back since. Now we are back to our sweet selves and taking it one thing at a time. Its not worth arguing over these things. Its just an event. Being married is more important.

But its weird that I keep getting bad dreams about our wedding day. I had to walk on cushions covered with blankets to get to the altar, I was bleached blonde and had super bad hair day which my sister just clipped at two sides with some kiddy hairclip, my dad gave me away wearing a singlet and towel wrapped over his waist. Then I had another dream today about my make up artist showing up late plus she was taking her own sweet time doing the hair, daddy John asked the guest to start with dinner first, and by the time my guests had finish and started driving off in their cars, I haven't even finished with make up yet. It was horrible! Thank goodness this is all a dream~ *sweats*

Maybe too much wedding / bridal research....time to chill now *skips off to lunch*

Life back in KL...

2010-08-05T15:07:00.000+08:00

Late last month, just before I moved back, everything was fast forward.

I barely had time to pack up and every day I had someone to meet and bid my goodbyes in Singapore. But the moment I came home to KL, almost everything came to a slow pace crawl. Just like the traffic jams here...

Nic is constantly working and very busy too. My close friends share similar working hours and have their own boyfriends and family to go home to. Thank goodness my mom's home with me. The only problem is, I constantly have to 'fight' for her attention with Charrise (the little girl she babysits).

Life is as chilling as anyone could ask for....but its really no fun when you've got no one to share it with...

Fast forward July

2010-07-17T03:26:00.002+08:00

Life seems to be in a fast forward mode right now.

I blogged last month, about wanting to resign and packing up to move back to KL. Here I am, already free as a bird, packing to move back to KL. I actually thought I would write about how anxious or excited I felt about quitting or how much I'm gonna miss my job, and everything here in Singapore. But each time, the word and the feelings jumble into one big lump of nothing, and I end up just doing something else to not think about it.

Five days has passed since my last work day. I have calmly went to return my staff pass and all my other company's belongings the following day. I felt a little unsure, a little light headed, a little nervous, a little relief, a little of everything mixed up. It was kinda overwhelming. I came home, didn't feel like talking or doing anything at all. Went out to meet up with friends, and that is exactly what I have been doing for the past few days.

So it hasn't exactly settled in. The feeling that I am no longer employed.

Maybe it might take a few weeks...a month...or even a few months...

Right now, I just wanna enjoy the time I have...

Note: By the way, to those who has been following me on blogspot, thanx for the support. I seem to be having problems with posting a reply in the comments section. Appreciate all the encouragement out there.

The BIG decision

2010-06-08T19:29:00.001+08:00

Since the proposal in February, there has been lots of fast moving moments, dodging the ball moments, new ideas in consideration moments, we'll handle that tomorrow moments, and now...one big leap moment.

I have been endlessly talking about leaving my job since the day that I started here in Singapore. And finally now I will be resigning to start again, back in Malaysia (but I haven't actually tender my resignation yet). Its almost unbelievable and came a little faster than I expected. But now that its finally sinking in, I can't wait for this new adventure to start.

Needless to say, I totally need a break now to start planning wedding stuff. Something that Nic and I have conveniently avoided cause we are working in Singapore. Its super tough to organize things from another country. I seriously don't know how Chee Eng and Mei See did it. Or maybe I wasn't putting enough effort and dedication in....yet...

The important thing for me now is to super organize my stuff over here so I can go back without worrying about things over here. I keep staring at my room and don't even know where I should start packing. *sigh*

I'm gonna miss a lot of things here...and people...and my personal space...

I sometimes wonder...

2010-05-12T16:05:00.001+08:00

what goes on in each person's mind?

how can people be so different and still be friends?

why some people are only concern about their own thoughts and can care less about yours?

why do we expect certain things out of certain people?

why do I always have to care about details?

when can this uncomfortable feeling go away?

why do I even bother?

Arrghhh!! I'm being spammed!

2010-05-08T16:29:00.002+08:00

Someone is seriously spamming my blog. I've got a comment on every single entry and its not even a comment. Its some freakishly long advertisement on bag selling!!! I don't do free advertisement! Plus, I can't seem to leave comments on my own blog entry anymore! How how how? Help~ Someone please tell me what I can do...

I'm melting~

2010-05-04T18:52:00.001+08:00

Its so freaking hot today! I'm melting in my skin. I'm wearing the skimpiest of all clothing I have cause nobody's home. But it really ain't helping! My shorts are like sticking to my skin and my top is just so uncomfortable. I can't even lean into the sofa cause its so hot!

I shall think about something else to distract myself. Like a super cold drink and super cold salad, ice cream and penguins and igloo and the north pole...Who am I kidding! That is so not gonna work either.

I've even got my arms sticking out at my sides just so I get better ventilation at *ahem* certain areas. I should just switch on the air conditioning and chill down. But I'm thinking that is so bad for the environment..(why do I even think of things like that) Sigh~

I'll step into the shower to 'cool' myself now...

Salad Topple :(

2010-04-28T19:45:00.001+08:00

Can't believe I spent so much effort cutting up vegetables and cooking chicken preparing for my dinner and its all gone to waste. I was so craving for salad today and decided to make some for dinner. Woke up and was getting myself a drink. Carelessly took the tupperware out of the fridge and before I even manage to place it on the counter top, the whole thing crashed to the floor! OMG~

You can't believe the frustration going on in my mind. Waste of time, waste of money and no dinner.

Sadedooss~

Blank Space Blank Space

2010-04-09T19:59:00.001+08:00

Wanted to blog so much.
But all I could think of is...

Blank space blank space blank blank blank...

Can't believe I came back from work yesterday and decided to maintain going London instead of taking a well deserved off day. Sigh~

Hopefully my plans of having a picnic with the Changs will succeed this time around. Pray for a nice sunny day!

My State of Mind

2010-03-30T11:59:00.001+08:00

New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of
There's nothin' you can't do
Now you're in New York
These streets will make you feel brand new
Big lights will inspire you
Let's hear it for New York, New York,
New York~

Empire State of Mind - Alicia Keys

I'm in the big bad city and its been raining the past two days and especially heavy this morning. Had waffles with ham, skim milk and half a bagel with cream cheese for breakfast this morning. Mmm~ But I miss the corned beef hash I had yesterday.

Its so difficult to go shopping trying to manage traffic, umbrella, bags of shopping and dodging in and out of shops along Soho. Fitting rooms are another crazy headache. Queuing, the endless thick clothing I have to peel off to try on the size, not mentioning the boots and all. Only managed to get two skirts.

Would've loved to go Times Square that one last time, maybe walk to Rockefeller and just take in some air. Too bad the weather isn't agreeing with me. Would've like to watch a musical or maybe go to a museum. Some people would probably say why let the weather dictate what you want to do. But seriously, its sucky weather...

I'm halfway home...

Happy birthday my sayang~

I want to grow old like that....

2010-03-15T04:16:00.000+08:00

This photo was taken when Nic and I was in Changi Airport waiting to depart for Greece.

5 Degrees

2010-03-06T18:57:00.001+08:00

Its cold in London. Brrr~ I think its about 5 degrees.

I was called to fly London on the 4th March, which was exactly the date (last month) that Nic proposed. When I arrived yesterday, I was half expecting the weird people, the package, the note, and my baby surprising me. If he were here, we would have had breakfast with Mandy and sister, and right about now, we would be taking a bus to Westfield.

I miss YOU.

Wish YOU were here to keep me warm.

I Do. I Do.

2010-02-07T01:38:00.001+08:00

I am in London right now. Just sent Nic off at High Street Kensington tube station.

*mixed feelings* sad and happy...

So many things happened in the span of two weeks.

Was stressing out about going for a holiday in Greece with Nic. Had quite an adventure being in a foreign country, trying to adapt to the freaky cold weather, trying not to go crazy with each other's living habits, trying to stay sane with long hour flights and transits in between. A memorable one.

Rushed back to KL to attend Chee Eng's wedding. Managed to change for extra off days to stay on (otherwise I would've gone crazy with jetlags and different weather conditions). Rushed back to Singapore for work. Left for London with a heavy heart cause my holiday ended and Nic was back in Malaysia, which felt so far away.

Little did I know, when I reached London, Nic was here too. Scheming with a whole bunch of people to surprise me. He sent me a package with 'our' book in it. Wrote a little note that made me cry buckets cause I missed him so much. Then I almost choked on my tears when I saw "get changed and meet me downstairs..." *OMG* I was stunned, panic, excited, not sure what I was feeling at the moment. Called him, but he refused to answer my call. Texted him "Bb where are u?" and received a reply "waiting for you..."

I was so blur after a long long flight, I almost contemplated to take a shower before I actually knew what was happening. I hurriedly changed and went down to the lobby looking less than gorgeous. I was so 'kan cheong' in the lift, didn't quite know how to respond or what else to expect.

Lift door opened. Nic was standing in the lobby. He saw me, shouted for someone to start recording, and presented me with flowers. 3 bouquets. White, red, pink roses. I gave him a big hug, started crying and he got down on one knee. *OMG* I couldn't believe it. He started talking about our Greece trip, a whole lot of other things, (I don't think I could remember every word cause I was super dazed) then he said something about finding our 15 degrees, and asked me to marry him. *melted into a pile of butter*

Never ever expected that I would see him overseas when I'm at work, yet alone London. I always said 'wish he was here', and this time, it came true. How sweet can that be? I truly love him and the crazy things he does for me.

Thank you sayang. I miss you already.

Thank you Mary and Jerry for helping him plan such a sweet surprise. I will never ever forget :)

Holiday Jitters

2010-01-20T14:52:00.000+08:00

The past week has been hectic. Trying to swap for off days all the time. Its not funny. My eyes are going crazy just looking at the computer screen. My nerves are going bonkers waiting for people's text reply. But its all been working out well...at this point at least...I hope...

Tomorrow's the big day. Nic and I are finally going to Kea Island, Greece, for our long planned holiday. We're getting pretty nervous cause its our first trip going so far overseas together. We've only been Bali once and Phuket with his friends but apart from that, we've never gone so far - Europe to say the least. Feels like an adventure altogether.

I can't even say I'm half packed. I need my bag for work tonight and can only do the rest of packing tomorrow. So hopefully I don't freak out. I've been trained for this. Packing and unpacking is like one of the things I've learnt in 5 and half years. I should be able to do it even with some pressure right? I'm sure even with blindfolds I can. *looks uncertain*

Tomorrow onwards will be crazy schedule for me. I need to pray that I don't fall sick in the midst of that holiday, attending wedding, back to work, holiday, chinese new year, back to work again thing.

I guess I should start resting this minute and every second I can prior to tomorrow!!! Arrgghhh~ Feeling all loony again!!!

*stress stress stress*

Crossroads

2010-01-16T05:14:00.001+08:00

In the recent weeks, I've spoke to at least more than 10 people about changing jobs. Its always different how upbringing, character and commitments shine through each individual when they share their thoughts with you. You can tell right away how these individuals prioritize their lives. They shared with me their experiences, same and different worries for the future.

But even with the many conversations I had, I have not managed to come to any decisions. In fact, I'm only getting more and more confused not knowing which path I should embark on. I do not know if I have that many worries or if I am simply not brave enough to take that leap or am I just making excuses for myself so that I don't have to leave my comfort zone.

The truth is, this is not the first. I've had this conversation with myself more than once. I've got full support from my loved ones, but I don't want to just quit and end up in another shit hole. How would I know if I'm gonna be used to normal working hours? Will I be able to travel back to KL as often? Can I adapt to the different working environment? Will I like what I do?

What should I do now?

Right now, I should go and catch some winks. Will I know what to do after I wake up? Hopefully...

Ushering in 2010

2009-12-30T09:59:00.000+08:00

I'm leaving for Bombay tonight. As always, I will end up missing a countdown with my friends and family. Not that my friends will be around. But still...

This year has gone by extremely fast. I can still remember what happened 1st Jan 09 and in a few days time it would have been 365 days past and into 1st Jan 2010? Wow...

I wonder what is installed in the year to come? I've got so many things I'm looking forward to. Probably a new job? Maybe moving in with Nic? Buying a property? Some investments?

But everything still feels uncertain. Just hope I'm not stuck here writing about the same things 365 days after this....

Happy New 2010 Year!

The Flu Bug...kind off...

2009-12-21T10:56:00.000+08:00

I haven't blogged in the longest time.

Was busy watching my TVB dramas online, until I accidently catched a whole load of viruses on my computer. Sigh. Why am I not surprised. Should have learnt from my mistake the last time my laptop crashed.

Now I can switch on my laptop, but it takes centuries to load, and when it finally does, I can't connect to the internet. Brilliant.

I'm typing this blog from the comfort of a hotel room in Beijing. I can use the TV screen to connect to internet explorer and that is exactly what I'm doing right now. So it means I'm looking at my blog page the size of a huge ass TV! How cool is that?

But I still gotta get that lappie fixed. *sad face*

On the things I used to love...

2009-11-13T12:50:00.002+08:00

Just about a week ago, I went with Nic to watch Michael Jackson's 'This Is It'. It was quite awesome, giving he was already in his fifties, still rocking, moon walking, billy jean-ing, and singing his heart out. It must have been really sad for the whole team, losing him and not being able to perform after all the effort they put into practice. I almost teared when the credits started rolling...

Watching the making of his concert reminded me of how I used to be crazy over Faye Wong (MJ is Nic's idol and Faye Wong's mine). I can't remember how I started to be so fanatic over a singer, but I remember borrowing one of her casette tapes from my cousin and the rest was history. I started cutting her pictures out from magazines and papers, I watched and recorded her every special appearance on television. The hype went on for quite a while.

I attended her concert twice in Malaysia. I still have the tickets, laminated and kept like a secret treasure in one of my locked drawers (although its not really locked). It was quite an experience growing up idolising her. Not everyone around me is a fan of Faye you know, so sometimes when bad or negative things are said about her, I become very defensive.

With the different friends I had, I obviously supported other singers and attended other concerts too. But its interesting how I grew out of these things. I just slowly drifted away from being such a fan. I mean, I used to fall asleep listening to her songs. I use to treat her posters like it was framed with gold.

Now that I look back and think about it, I would find some of the things I did silly and amusing. But I don't think I'd ever regret, cause it was all in good fun. I still like Faye Wong very much. I applaud her attitude and talent. She came out of the Shirley Wong 'shell' and made sure she had a say in making her own music. She made a name for herself by insisting on her ways. She's almost like my version of a female chinese MJ. You have to see her perform live, she sings so effortlessly its just unbelievable.

I would so love to attend another one of her concerts. In time to come...

Gloominess.Being Fickle.

2009-11-05T12:30:00.000+08:00

Its been pouring the whole day. Off and on, off and on again.

So much has been on my mind lately. Yet, when I sit in front of my laptop, the computer screen stares back at me, blankly. My mind conversations just don't seem to translate into blog time, if that makes any sense at all.

Lately, my mind has been really fickle. I think part of me has always been like that. But it seems to be getting more and more severe recently. Have I always been this difficult? I can spend 10 minutes just picking two apples in a supermarket when 10 people have probably walked past me with 5 apples each in their baskets. I always end up ordering last at a restaurant cause I just can't seem to choose and decide on what I want for lunch or dinner, and most times even after I've placed my order, I'd still look at the menu and wonder if I picked the right thing to eat.

Ok. I can hear Nic start to panic now. *smiles* I'm sure I picked the right guy. We're talking about a different topic here ok?

Am I just being lazy and dependent on others to decide for me? Well of course there are days when I'm just too dominant for my own good I want to decide everything for myself. But its been a long time since I saw those days. What has happened?

I hope its just a passing phase. Maybe I just need to de-clutter my room and brain for more simple storage space and proper organization in life.

The Month of October

2009-10-30T07:23:00.000+08:00

I can't believe it. October is already at its end. I think I've only slept in my own bed twice this month. I was overseas for a good 10 days, return home to pack unpack and took a bus back to KL to attend Eric and Jennifer's wedding, back to Singapore, pack unpack and now I'm halfway through my 'unintended' journey in L.A. and will by the time I'm back in Singapore, it'll be two days past November...already...

Its been quite tough.

Adjusting to Nic's new shift was tough. Having a super roster is tough. Earning big bucks will always make you lose the more important things. Like having time to spend with a loved one, yet alone loved one-S.

The only consolation I've had this time around is watching Lipstick Jungle. I can't believe I'm hooked on it like how I am with my chinese dramas. But the title is pretty tacky. I'm sure they could've come up with something fancier or more relevant to the gist of the story. Hmmm...

I can't wait to get home. Its been cold and lonely being out here alone. I've had enough of living out of a suitcase.

Talent - time

2009-10-05T08:07:00.000+08:00

Last month or so, when I was back in KL, my sister and I was watching TV. There were some beauty pageants singing, dancing, acting, drawing, giving their all, trying to impress a panel of judges with their so called 'talent'. My sister casually asked me,

"Does everyone have a talent?"

I didn't quite gave it a moment of thought and answered almost immediately,

"Yes, I believe everyone is talented in some way."

Then she turned and looked at me, this time a little bit more serious,

"Do you know what is YOUR talent?"

I was dumbfounded for a while...

"Well, I suppose...." Then I drifted into my own thoughts trying to pry the insides of my brain for any talent cells...or none at all.

She proceeded to break my silence and asked,

"What about me? Do you think I have a talent? Do you know what MY talent is?"

She sounded hopeful, wishing I had a certain answer to confirm this very important question of hers.

I don't think I did have an answer for her at the end. Ever since we had that conversation, we're still trying to figure out our talents. Its probably easier to identify a talent when its as obvious as drawing, dancing, singing, cooking, sewing or something along those lines. But what if you are Jack / Jill of all trades and a master of none? Does that mean you have no talent? What defines talent?

So, while I'm still trying to figure out mine, do you know YOURS yet?

Tell me about it...

Conversations with 'Superman'~

2009-10-01T23:43:00.001+08:00

Nic happened to be wearing this T-shirt today (a gift from his mommy for this year's birthday). We were waiting for the MRT and I just had to ask him some questions.

Me : Hi Superman! Describe your job scope.

Nic : Saving good people from evil. Saving the world.

Me : Define the word world.

Nic : Singapore.

Me : Wow~ Your world is small. How do you travel when you have to save people?

Nic : I take bus or MRT.

Me : HAHAHAH~ What if the MRT or bus breaks down?

Nic : Then I ignore the call.

Me : You are lousy. Then why do you call yourself 'Superman'?

Nic : Cause of my OUTFIT *said a matter of factly with a smug grin*

Me : HAHAHA...what a joker my boyfriend....

Suck-er Up-pers!

2009-09-22T17:09:00.000+08:00

I hate people who suck up. I mean they must be intelligent and all, trying to rub the right people the right way. But people around them are not stupid too. We can see that they do that. And sometimes, when its so obvious...its annoying.

It annoys me even more when people 'use' me to make themselves look good. Crap shit crap ass crap shit-ass person. It also doesn't help when they are ten times lazier, super busy body, motor-mouth bullshit and just pure fake face.

Get a life! Cause I hate how yours is eating up into my space!

What happened to September?

2009-09-22T11:50:00.000+08:00

I can't believe its almost end of September.
Where did it go?

Cutting Bread

2009-09-07T23:20:00.000+08:00

Its difficult to hate bread when you always have craving for sandwiches, curry with bread, soup with bread, plain bread with balsamic and olive oil, garlic bread, toast bread, jam with bread, sausage bun, potato bread, banana walnut bread, raisin bread...you name it, I most probably will like it.

The other day, that day, that one day alone, I had a cheese and ham sandwich about 3am, then I had a super soft buttery raisin bread at 8am...then realised I couldn't resist and had another one. Then about 12.30pm, I had another of that raisin bread...and felt that I had too much bread for the day.

I thought about how bread can make you fat. Seriously.

I used to have bread for breakfast almost everyday when I was growing up. I'd eat it with the weirdest combination of spreads just so I won't get bored of bread. Of course there was the usual bread with butter, jam, kaya, nutella, peanut butter. But I also like to spread it with condensed milk and milo, sambal prawn, pork floss, mayo and tomato ketchup...yeah, I was pretty adventurous with the spreads. I don't just have bread for breakfast, but mommy would pack two pieces for my recess in school (only up till primary 5 I think). Occasionally I would get a treat like ham, egg, sausages, bacon or even chicken curry to eat with my bread. Mmm~

Then I remember during college, when we always rush for assignments, we would go Meidi-Ya (the bakery opposite Taylor's) and grab some tuna sandwich or some buns for a quick bite. And when I was working in Mid-Valley, I wanted to save some money so I ended up buying those pizza bread kinda thingy from Jusco cause they always had some buy 2 free 1 promotion. I had this theory that if I had a few bites and drank some water, eventually the bread will 'kembang' and fill my tummy then I won't be hungry.

I still eat lots of bread now, but probably I'm less aware of it until that 'one day'. Now I'm conciously avoiding bread, trying to pick up a wrap, salad or fruit instead of buying a sandwich. I even had one whole box of strawberries for dinner yesterday, just to avoid buying a sandwich. But I love sandwiches...*sigh*

I guess I'll just have to train myself not to gorge too much on bread. It is after all a type of carbo. Dangerous carbo...cause its more delicious than rice...yummy~

My mommy says...

2009-08-31T18:16:00.001+08:00

you please stay MUTE and rest your voice.

I croaked a laugh (if that is possible).

I lost my voice and just visited the doctor. I text my mom to let her know that I was alright and doctor advised me to rest my voice for a few days. And my mom is such a cartoon. Ask me to stay mute and rest my voice...indeed!

Anyway, I will be really quiet. Nobody is at home. And my boyfriend's working till midnight. I have nobody to talk to. I'm just coughing my lungs out occasionally. I accidentally bought chicken to cook for dinner. Apparently when coughing, you're not suppose to eat chicken. I really didn't know that until I was staying out with my housemates.

Oh well, its chicken for dinner...or hunger strike then...

*puts both hands up to vote for chicken*

Pitter Patter~

2009-08-28T10:07:00.001+08:00

I like the pitter patter sound.

Usually you hear that when it rains heavily, against your glass windows. Or when a little toddler is learning their walk on a squeaky clean floor. But the one I'm referring to, is the pitter patter on my keyboard. When I type real fast on my laptop.

I don't know why, but somehow it gives me a really nice feeling. Like I'm doing something big, something good. I like it. It gives me a sense of fulfillment. I feel like some intern writing for a magazine. I feel like I am typing really important emails, that will bring me some big bucks. I feel like Sarah Jessica Parker and her character Carrie in Sex In The City. I feel awesome when I'm typing.

I used to play typer shark on yahoo games when I was in college. It was quite fun. But that is speed typing. Without thinking. Not my favourite kind of typing. I love sending emails to Nic. He appreciates every word I put in, even though I sometimes sound nonsencical, or write rubbish. *happy sigh* You only need one person to appreciate the things you write to make your day. Really. But of course, when I'm writing a blog, a few more dozen of people wouldn't hurt.

Can I help you write something?

About doing nothing

2009-08-27T15:02:00.002+08:00

I just had a full day of probably doing nothing.

Well, not really. I wrote a to-do list some time ago, and I've been keeping that up ever since. I add and cancel things to do, which is a great way to remind me of things I've been putting aside for months. I managed to cancel a few items off the list (although not exactly all are done today) which I think is quite a good progress.

Then I stare at the list and realise there are some things I can do tomorrow. Then I close it and watch TV instead. Then I open the list and add a few more things to it. Then I stare at the list and feel that I can do those another day, then I close it and sit around for a bit. Then I open the list...and the whole cycle probably continues for a few good times or so.

I mopped the house again today. I washed some clothes. I cooked a simple lunch. I watched 'Shopaholic'.

Maybe I wouldn't say I didn't do nothing today. I did do some things....

S-P-A-C-I-N-G

2009-08-26T17:20:00.000+08:00

I don't know if its the headache, the grogginess from insufficient sleep, just being pure tired, or not spending enough time with boyfriend, I feel like i'm not doing anything but just spacing out.

I keep walking in and out of my room, in and out of the kitchen, to and fro from the living room. Don't know what is going through my mind.

Lost in space.

Johannesburg in a different light...

2009-08-23T19:54:00.002+08:00

Its amazing how different one place can be in two different visits.

Its amazing how one left you feeling awful, wishing you were home, and everything nice just doesn't seem to interest you.

Its amazing how the other just feels fun, even if there isn't anything to do, but just sitting there with two laptops, doing our own separate things.

Its amazing how an awful fall out with a housemate would actually patch up.

Its amazing that we are here in Johannesburg together, right now.

Its amazing how things turn out when you put your heart to it.

Its just amazing how Johannesburg is in a different light today....

ZZzzz~

2009-08-04T20:00:00.001+08:00

I can't believe I'm still tired after a 3 hour nap in the afternoon...
How am I gonna survive work later...

*sigh*

What makes your holiday?

2009-08-03T22:30:00.000+08:00

I was looking through heaps of photos on my laptop and wondered to myself, which of those getaways were memorable to me. What made them memorable? The place? The people? The things I did? The shopping?

For me, its the people I travel with that makes the whole holiday super. The place will come in second, followed by the things we do and the shopping if any. People would probably say that my job is a holiday itself every time I stop over in different countries. But those don't really count, cause my loved ones are not there with me.

I have had some memorable holidays which plays in my mind ever so often especially during the days I wish I could just be on never ending leave and go for a super chill out time. The Bali trip I had with Nic is unforgettable cause it was my first time traveling with boyfriend with no adult supervision. Haha~ No. Really. The unforgettable part was learning each other's weird travel habits, staying up whole night swatting mozzies, peanut throwing competition, almost drowning moment, the fantastic dinner we had at Warung Sate, the sing-a-long session at the beach side under the stars and the whole entire journey we had together.

Then I remember the first trip I had with my 'lepakhere' friends. Port Dickson. The first ever trip with friends. I was so excited, even though it was just PD. I remember the girls sleeping in the room together, and the guys were mostly in sleeping bags or sleeping on sofa in the living room. We had an awesome time getting lost while driving, BBQ dinner, kayak-ing, and just enjoying each other's company.

Then there was that trip to Langkawi with my college friends. We took so many photos and had so much fun posing and planning poses for each. I will never forget the kayak-ing moment. I was paired with Yeemai and we felt like we were never gonna make it back. We kayak-ed with all our mights, with eyes closed (cause it was raining and the waves were choppy) only to realise that we never moved an inch and was probably going backwards. We keep telling each other how we didn't wanna die out there and we were so young and had so many things to do. Oh..and by the way, if you didn't already know, I can't swim. Yeemai can't either.

My most recent trip was last year, to Phuket with a weird combination of friends. There was Nic, my housemate Mandy, Nic's good friend Jerry and Nelsen, Nelsen's girlfriend Elaine, and Jerry's good friend Ivan. Everyone sort of knew one person or another, but some of us met only when we departed for the trip. It was an unexpectedly pleasant trip.

Of course I had memorable trips with my family as well. The endless travels in the car with sing-a-long songs, the many arguements we had, the stress we had to endure packing and unpacking together, and the many times we entertained ourselves silly just by being together as a family. There was one time when we were trying to warm up our teochew language before meeting our grandmother, we were literally translating mandarin songs word for word to teochew. That was absolutely funny and we laughed ourselves silly. But I think I remember most the time we had a short stay in Rasa Sayang Shangrila in Penang. The stay was awesome, not to mention the swimming pool.

I need to go for another holiday. With Nic. We are unable to decide where. It isn't so important to me where we choose to go, cause I only really need him to be there to make my holiday. But at the moment, we can't even decide on a place to go. So we can't plan anything yet. I hope we decide soon...so we can have something to look forward to.

Any suggestions anyone?

I wanna quit....

2009-08-01T21:48:00.000+08:00

You know sometimes you get this naggy feeling. This super lazy, uncomfortable feeling towards work? Then you think, its about time I moved on....

I'm having one of this moments again.

But the sad thing is, like some people, I'd just talk about it, be de-motivated about it, be sad about it, be negative about it, be depressed about it, but I'd never actually do anything about it. Its horrible. Cause its like a curse that never ends.

Nic asked me, "What happened to the girl he first met? The one full of confidence and dreams, especially with the things she loves to do." I really don't know what happened. Maybe when I was younger, I wanted to prove people wrong, I wanted to outdo myself so people won't look at me as a weakling.

I remember being so adament on taking up the part-time writing job in Astro. I thought that was the road to my ambitions. I thought that would bring me places. And because it was so out of the way, I insisted on buying my own car. And just to pay off the car monthly installment, I worked 7 days a week, sometimes 2 jobs a day. But I was good. I survived. It was hard work, but I wanted it. I choosed it.

Coming over to Singapore to work was probably the biggest leap I took. But it was good. It opened up my world. It showed me things I wouldn't have known if I stayed on in Malaysia. I learned alot about people, about life, about responsibilities. But responsibilities come in so many different forms. I think I might have taken a little more than I expected to.

What do I do now? What should be my next move?

I need to summon all the courage I can from within to decide what I should do next. Wish me luck....*fingers crossed*

I.M.S.A.D.

2009-07-24T13:05:00.000+08:00

I think I've had too much time away from work. I haven't exactly been on a holiday, but I have been OFF and NOT working. I was back in KL at least twice in last month. Then just last week, sis was here. Spent almost everyday going out, shopping, window shopping, eating good food, chilling, playing Wii, playing spot the difference, and staying up late.

Now I'm back at work. Work sucks. Being away from home sucks. Not being with loved ones suck. No boyfriend to pamper me sucks.

I'm having a severe flu too. My skin around the nose feels like its peeling already. So painful.

I'm having a bad jetlag too....

Conversations With Ni Ke Le

2009-07-07T20:27:00.003+08:00

I suddenly remembered this one day when I was at Serangoon Gardens bus stop talking to Nic. He suddenly said a fruit name in mandarin and we started this...

Me: Baby? How many fruits do you actually know in mandarin? Do you know what is 'xiang jiao'?
Nic: Banana?
Me: Good. Now I test you others. Mmmm...I say a fruit and you tell me what is it in mandarin ok?
Nic: OK *eager smile*
Me: What is strawberry?
Nic: *thinks real hard* ermm...I duno.
Me: Its called 'sui mi tao' (I was totally wrong. 'sui mi tao' = peach. Corrected him later)What about durian?
Nic: I know! 'lui lian'.
Me: So clever. *beams with pride* Erm...what about orange?
Nic: *pause for a long while* I know I know!! Its called 'O-LIN'!!!
Me: Baby!! *laughs out loud* Orange is not O-LIN. Orange is 'CHEN'. Where did you learn that from?
Nic: But all those aunty aunty all pronounce it that way.
Me: That is their english version of orange la sayang....
Nic: HAhahah :-)

Such a cutie la...

Last of my annual leave - Day Ten (LAST)

2009-07-02T23:29:00.000+08:00

OMG...

I can't believe I had ten days off.
Not working.

OMG....

And I was so lazy, I keep putting off the things I want to do today, for tomorrow, and tomorrow comes, I have more things to do, and I put it off till tomorrow, and tomorrow comes and the whole process repeats itself again.

Actually, after Day Four, I had quite eventful activities. And there were loads of photos I took for blogging purposes, but the moment is gone....I'm too lazy now.

Day Five - I had house warming and mini-early-birthday-surprise at Karen and TC's place.
Day Six - I had breakfast with family and left to come back Singapore.
Day Seven - I had to renew my U.S. Visa.
Day Eight - Met up with Karine for early birthday treat.
Day Nine - Went to collect visa, got all dressy and had a surprise-early-by-one-day-birthday dinner with Nic and all my favourite friends.
Day Ten - Spent the whole day with my darling Nic cause he took off to purposely spend time with me on my birthday!

Yup. Today I turned 27. Not many twenties left for me....

I had great fun celebrating this year though. I love my family. I love Nic. I love all my friends too. Thanx to everyone for all the well wishes~

I'm back to work first thing in the early morning tomorrow. Hope I still remember how to work...

Last of my annual leave - Day Four

2009-06-27T14:53:00.000+08:00

BLANK...

Last of my annual leave - Day Three

2009-06-25T14:28:00.001+08:00

I haven't been anything much.

Woke up, had breakfast, went to visit Nic's mommy and little niece Hannah.

Now just sitting around replying my sis's MSN messages for her while she dictates.

Yesterday night was quite exciting. We had a mozzie competition. My mom, sis and me. The scores - Mom 1 - Sis 3 - Me 3.

Waahahahahaha~

I must be crazy.

Seven dead mozzies

I think I am going crazy....Too much free time and nobody to play with me...

Last of my annual leave - Day Two

2009-06-24T16:39:00.000+08:00

I've totally finished my annual leave for this year. This is like my last batch of it. Right smack in the middle of the year. Middle of the year - ONLY. Damn. How am I gonna survive just on off days for the coming months till next year?

Didn't get to go anywhere this year for holiday. Screwed up the supposed holiday with Mandy. Mommy don't like the idea of traveling with the H1N1 influenza everywhere (more like she don't like the idea of leaving home with everyone unsupervised). Nic don't have any leave left till after July. Goody. *sigh*

So I'm back to feeding mozzies at home in KL. How super...

Me want a HOLIDAY SO BADLY....*pouts*

Day Three: I.M.I.N.N.Y.C.

2009-06-15T01:41:00.001+08:00

Yupes~

I'm in New York City right now. Not one of my favourites cause I'm forever lost here. Can't make out which street is which, which avenue is which. The one time I finally get my bearings right, then we have to switch hotels. Oh well, but this hotel is so much more comfortable and I get free internet everyday. No complains I guess. Just go out and get lost.

But due to the H1N1 influenza, my family and loved ones have been excessively concern about my health. So, in order for them not to worry too much, I've been staying in most of the time. Just went out twice, to get food and water. Want to shop a little cause of the summer sales, but shopping is probably not the priority.

My sleeping time has been screwed too. I'm totally following Singapore timing here in NYC. Its 12 hours difference. I've been sleeping at NYC time 3pm and waking up at midnight each day. Thank goodness I'm leaving tonight. And now is probably about time I go and have my beauty nap.

Cheerios~

Its June already~

2009-06-05T23:41:00.000+08:00

Its gloomy today in London.

I haven't been sleeping well the past few days. Keep waking up from weird dreams. Feeling so unrested after I open my eyes. Can't wait to return to my own bed in my own room. At least I know its perfectly comfortable there. Its kinda weird how attached you can be to a rented place you call home.

There has been so many unhappy things affecting people all around the world recently. The economic downturn, retrenchment, the H1N1 influenza, the missing Air France aircraft and so many others. I'm just mentioning these few because I feel more affected by these news. I never liked to watch news on tv or read them on the newspapers. Always unhappy stuff.

I have been busy transporting myself in and out of different countries recently. Not something I like, but if I don't do, I won't be earning anything. Friends and family have been quite worried about all the traveling I have to do. But seriously, every job has its job hazards.

Its already mid year. I can't believe how fast time flies. I'll probably be writing a similar blog entry in another few months and say its almost end of the year.

I want to play a board game.
I want to go for a trip.
I want to draw.
I want to spend a whole day doing nothing.

I want to be random before the year ends...

My sad holiday...

2009-05-30T01:29:00.000+08:00

What a crappy planned out holiday! You really never know when other things may just affect your normal life all of a sudden.

I have about a week's worth of days off and annual leave. Have been planning to go for a trip with Serena for ages (at least more than 2 years). We wanted to go Taiwan initially with Jern Hoh, but he couldn't make it, so we invited Pui Mun, and all was set. Then just when we were looking at the schedules and booking dates, Pui Mun backed out, couldn't go. So Serena and I decided to make it simple and go for a Hong Kong trip instead.

Some swine flu outbreak had to happen and one whole hotel of people got quarantined in Hong Kong, which freaked us out and we decided to cancel. So the last minute plan was for Serena to come over to Singapore and we just hang out and go shopping.

Just as I arrived in Singapore from London, day before our short holiday starts, I receive several sms regarding a confirmed case of swine flu in Singapore. The first. It had to be the same flight that my housemate came back from! Shites! I knew my holiday plans were all going down the drain...

So, just in case precaution (since my housemate was not asked to be quarantined), I had to change plans and go back to KL instead. We couldn't do any local holidays last minute. Its really too last minute, and we are two helpless girls who just wanna have fun...

We met with Jern Hoh for lunch, had a spa moment together and a long dinner together. I guess the important thing is to spend time together as friends, no matter where we are. But I just can't help feeling disappointed with the overseas part. Especially now, since I'm donating blood to the mozzies in my living room. I think I've fed them about 5 times at least in the last half hour.

Oh well...life's like that...

I've been thinking...

2009-05-15T17:54:00.001+08:00

I'm suppose to be napping so I won't be zombie like at work tonight. But a phone call woke me up and now I can't fall back into sleep. My brains have been non-stop thinking and thinking even when I was just lazing in bed earlier on.

Sometimes I hate being the eldest in my family. The responsibility lies on you whether you like it or not. I'm tired. But I love my family. I want everyone to come together, good times or bad. I want everyone to have an open communication, so we won't have to go through big drama arguments everyday. I want so badly so many things to be good...God must think I'm selfish.

In another 2 months and I'll pass the 5 year mark of working in Singapore. What happened to 'I will quit after the 2 years bond'? What happened to 'I'm looking for a new job' (one and half years ago) ? What happened to being decisive and wanting to do new things for that matter? I'm afraid I'm sinking into the comfort zone. I'm really afraid. No kidding. I need to pull myself out of it...

I don't think I finished anything I started since the beginning of the year. What has happened to me?

I want a holiday badly. Can the holiday please come and look for me?

Totally Unexpected...

2009-05-07T20:28:00.001+08:00

I just got back from trip this morning. Was trying so hard to get Nic on the phone, but after several missed calls, I fell asleep in the attempt. I was woken up by a stranger on the phone telling me there was a delivery waiting outside my place, for me. I went to open the door, looking all groggy and sleepy....

Then I saw this...

I can't believe Nic bought me flowers! Out of the blue too~

I absolutely love the bouquet. But I love him more....

Thank you sayang for the lovely surprise~ *muacks*

Gym Moments

2009-05-03T19:35:00.001+08:00

I was never a fan of exercise. I used to tell people I live by the motto, "Eat first, think later". But after working, especially having to travel as often as I do, I realise that its important to take care. Recently, I've heard countless people ailing from cancer and numerous colleagues having difficulty to conceive. I wouldn't want to suffer from any unnecessary pain due to an unhealthy lifestyle.

I started taking on light exercise. I've some friends who started taking yoga classes and signing up for gym packages. So I started jogging around where I live, and taking on pilates class. Then I realise that I could make use of free access to gym whenever I'm overseas.

I don't really like the idea of those heavy machinery and having to exercise in a public area with a crowd. I feel intimidated. The thought of having to try and operate a machine, foreign to me, makes me shy and embarass. What if I pushed the wrong button? What if I put my feet on the part where my hands should be? What if I used this machine and developed muscles on my arm instead of toning them? Worries...

I still imagine those things could happen to me. Which is why I only use the threadmill and one other exercise machine. Do not be too ambitious. Simple does it. But I remember that one time when I was in Frankfurt and the freaking threadmill had German language all over it. Instead of increasing the speed on it, I was tipping the threadmill at a 45 degree angle. I tried to remain calm while trying to figure out how to stop embarassing myself any further. Quite a challenge.

I feel lazy at the thought of having to change, sweating it out, coming back to cool off and having to shower, dry my hair and all that shit. Thinking of the process puts me off the mood to exercise. But I put my excuses to the side and went to the gym back to back. Yesterday and today. I feel good. It was worth while.

I hope I won't let the bad side take over me anymore...

Heart-Warming Moments...

2009-04-29T17:23:00.000+08:00

I was leaving on a bus to Singapore the other day...
I saw an old man taking photos and hugging his daughters goodbye...
So touching...

I was jogging around my block two days ago...
I saw a father with his two sons doing cooling down exercises...
So heart-warming...

I just feel there are many things happening in this world...
We need to stop and take a look around us sometimes...
There is so much love around us, we should remember that...
Don't sweat the small stuff in life...

*wink*

Short Update~

2009-04-10T15:40:00.001+08:00

I was trying to recall the things I've been doing these past few weeks. Besides work, meeting up with friends and boyfriend, I can't think of any important task that I've tried to attempt during the last few days.

But there are tonnes of things occupying my mind. Trying to swap my leave dates again, try and plan a last minute holiday for me and mommy, getting in touch with some of my friends in KL, reading a book, doing my word puzzles, cleaning out more junk, go for a facial and massage, attend more pilates classes, taking more photos, updating my iPod, write something for my blog, and I'm sure there was more...

I haven't completed a single thing I mentioned in the above.

WHAT EXACTLY HAVE I BEEN DOING?

*crawls into bed and nap*

Happy Birthday Sayang~

2009-03-30T20:55:00.002+08:00

I know I've said it more than 10 times today but....

Happy Birthday sayang~

Too bad you've got to work today. But lucky for us, we got the weekend off to pre-celebrate your birthday! Ma Maison was a good choice of restaurant...

Beers galore~

Window sightings

Warm and cosy setting...

Snails anyone? (Escargot)

Camembert Fritters (some kind of honey sauce by the side)

Our favourite Soba Salad...MMmm..

Scotch Eggs

Honey Caramel Pudding

It was our second time at Ma Maison, but it was one of the best ever meals. We loved the place, the ambience, the food, everything about the place. Wish the location was nearer to where we stayed though. Hehe...

I hope YOU had a super time during the weekend, cause I really did. Love you sayang~

Congratulations to Newlyweds Mr. & Mrs. Chong~

2009-03-30T19:49:00.002+08:00

The happy couple Mr. & Mrs. Chong...

Last weekend, Nic and I went back to KL to attend my friend's wedding. We had the best-est time ever!

I've met Karen from secondary school and TC through some friends from LEO club functions. Even though I've been classmates with Karen, but we've never been close in school. It was only after our good friends left for studies in Australia, that we started spending more time together. As for TC, we always meet up with the same group of friends (with Karen inclusive) for more than 8 years now.

I'm so happy when I first heard they got together. And even happier to hear that they were getting married. I'm glad to have been able to join them when Karen was choosing her bridal gown. I'm glad that I made it for both their wedding ceremony and dinner.

It was the most overwhelming experience.

Knowing the wedding was going to take place was a totally different feeling to when it actually happen. From the moment I see Karen and TC in their gown and suit respectively, to the moment they were exchanging rings, the tea ceremony, and the wedding march in...it was so overwhelming.

All in all, everything was super.

I truly thank you, Karen & TC for inviting us to share the memorable day with you all. We enjoyed ourselves very much during the weekend.

Best wishes once again...and cheers to good life~

AHM: Another Happy Moment~

2009-03-27T12:45:00.000+08:00

I was walking to the MRT station one day when I asked Nic if he remembered everything happy about us during these two years. We both have very weak memory, so sometimes, we need a little reminder.

For the last few months, I've been easily agitated and slightly temperamental. I tend to shut myself out from the world, go off track or even lose focus on things. I think at trying times like these, it helps when you think about happy things, happy moments, or how everything first started. It helps you remember how you feel in love, and how much you've grown in the relationship. It really makes you appreciate what you have, just that little more.

The following day after I had that conversation with Nic, he came up with a new term. AHM - A Happy Moment. He thought of something that I did or we did together and included it in our daily messages. So it became AHM - Another Happy Moment. I think it is one of the sweetest things that he did.

We constantly think about things that make us happy and it puts a smile on our faces. It helps cheer me up even when I'm having the lousiest moment. It makes me even happier when I'm already in a happy moment. Sometimes we even try to outdo one another by coming up with the best AHM. *smiles*

I think everyone should make it a habit to think about their own AHMs. It can even be one that you shared with your family or friends...

AHM: When we walked back to your place from Serangoon Gardens. It was far, but the weather was super.

Being Angry

2009-03-11T10:49:00.000+08:00

For a moment today, I was thinking about how many people I've actually been angry with my whole life. I'm not talking about those small spams of angry feeling you get when customer service sucks, I'm not talking about the feeling you get when you don't get what you want, I'm talking about angry anger...like those that make you think bad thoughts and feel like doing bad things just to get even kind.

I don't think I've been angry many times or with many people. Its difficult. Yeah sure I've had some moments when the angry period boiled longer and some which had me reacting to it. Those felt real and never ending. It takes time, and a clear mind to sort things out. But I like that it goes away. Eventually.

I feel like I'm at peace today. (No I didn't do yoga)

I've been writing sad-angry-posts recently. Everyone's worried. Thinking that I might actually permanently BE this person. I think I wanna put all that angry-ness past me today. I want to rest well. I want to stay young. I want to be happy again.

My heart is sinking...

2009-02-24T06:18:00.000+08:00

like a ship...

Its sinking....

Everything Looks Blurred...

2009-02-18T10:24:00.000+08:00

My fingers were just resting on the keyboard for over one minute.
I'm not right in front of the mirror now, but I know my face shows no expression.
I feel as though someone extracted my soul out of my body.

I don't know why he does it over and over again.
We try putting in trust, but he hurts us by telling lies.
I have no idea what goes on in that head of his.
What does he want?

Nobody knows....

I'm tired of trusting. I'm tired of trying. I know one of these nights I'm gonna have that same evil nightmare again.

I miss my mom. I wanna give her a big hug the next time I see her.

I think my soul came back again.
For a moment I felt a sudden rush of feelings.
Sad feelings. Like a wave, sweeping back and forth on the same spot.

I can see the sun shinning through my room windows.
Its so blazing hot today, maybe it'll dry up my well of sorrows.
We'll decide what to do next when the night comes.

I need comfort right now.
I'll go roll into a ball on my bed.
Please do not disturb....

True Colours...

2009-02-16T14:02:00.000+08:00

Ever since I got together with Nic, a lot has happened with some of my friends here in Singapore. They feel strongly against how much time I would rather spend with my boyfriend than compared to them. They feel that I've become totally different, or somehow 'lost' my identity, and just completely changed from the me they once used to know.

I tell you...

I will never give in to a conversation that involves no value or respect for friendship.

I had a dramatic fall out with my housemate, Mandy, just a few days ago. It started with me cancelling off an intended trip we mentioned since last year. Things hasn't been all bright and chirpy with us recently and I guess it triggered off alot of emotions on her side.

All the small and petty things surfaced. All the 'you thought' 'i thought' bubbled fire like the larva that has been freshly erupted from the sleeping volcano. But the most lingering and already been mentioned more than once topic - my boyfriend - stuck out like a sore thumb from her.

She said she's saying all these out of care and concern. She doesn't want me to hurt as deep when the day comes that Nic is out of the picture.

I beg a pardon....?

After two years of a smooth and healthy relationship, I have many friends and family asking when me and Nic will tie the knot. Not one single one...ever mentioned the same thing she did. I know how much she must dislike him, but sitting around waiting for him to dump me so she can claim her glory when I run crying to her arms just seems ridiculously disgusting.

I have more than once mentioned her anonymously in my blogs. Because she annoys me sometimes, I just have to channel it somewhere, but out of respect, I just blog in a general non-name mentioning way. Today, I've had it. Its the true colours...so live with it...

She said I've 'lost' my identity, and isn't the girl she once knew. She thinks that my boyfriend is too controling, I'm too dependant on him, and always making excuses to cover up for him. I think its just crap. I used to be this naive, 'kampung' girl, always got bullied at work and didn't know how to stand up and speak for herself. Now that I'm no longer as blur, have my own opinions about things and speak my mind, she thinks that I'm no longer me. Everyone else seems to think this change a positive one. Only she has a problem with it.

Maybe because now I can think for myself and no longer just listen to her, she doesn't feel in power over me. Maybe because now I consult my boyfriend about things instead of her, she thinks he is controlling me. Maybe because now I have someone to shower me with affection, she thinks I'm too dependant on him. Maybe because now I know how to defend myself and Nic everytime she says something negative, she thinks that I'm making excuses.

After all the drama, she shakes my hand and asked to be friends again. I did take her hand. But my heart still rages from all the heat that was worked up. My brains are still playing the conversations over and over again. Its not like the situation was resolved when she asked for peace. I do not understand this girl. I can't pretend like I'm all buddy with her right now. But she does it. It feels fake.

Its almost 5 years since we lived together. We share a weird love-hate friendship. She is the only girl friend I dare not hug when I feel like it, dare not cling on to her arms when we go shopping, its just weird. If I happen to catch her on her good day, everything seems perfect. If I happen to catch her on a lousy day, I feel so plastic when I hang out with her, even up till today.

I've made up my mind.

I'm not gonna let myself be stepped all over anymore.

I Need Sleep~

2009-02-11T14:31:00.000+08:00

I've been out and about since CNY. Never really got a good rest during my off days. I'm now feeling physically tired and mentally drained. It feels like I've aged 10 years within these two weeks.

I keep having weird dreams too. The bad ones about negative stuff I'm facing in life now. The normal ones about work (so it gets even more tiring when I wake up - as though I worked the whole time I was actually asleep). And the weird ones where I play with snow in Japan with my loved ones and some others about people I haven't met in ages!

I've got tonnes of photo to circulate around. But obviously I haven't gotten to doing it...

I just met my newborn cousin Danielle. It must be nice being in her shoes. People pamper and hug all the time. Just cry to get attention. Sleep and eat all the time. I'm sure I had those moments once. Just wished I'd remember it...

I'm writing randomly now. Cause that's exactly how my brain is functioning now.

I'm going off to see my soul mate now~ Tra la la~

About Being Hopeful...

2009-01-31T17:32:00.000+08:00

When I first created this blog, I thought for the longest time what I wanted to do with it. Should I write about traveling, should I write about food, should I write about all aspects of my life. Then I thought about how lonely I was, how negative I was at that point, and how badly I wanted a change. So I named this blog imhopeful. To remind me that I can be hopeful, I can hope for things, I can be positive.

I hung on tightly to those words. I am hopeful. Even more so recently.

I've been super emotional during the past weeks. Trying to fight all evil residing in my head. The things I actually thought about, I am so ashamed that it even crossed my mind. But that's what happens when you let your emotions control your being. Mind over body. Even when you think you have it mentally under control, it creeps into your subconscious and takes over your dreams.

Some shit happened. Cause and effect on my loved ones, including myself. It was one hell of a rollercoaster ride. Even all the CNY goodies couldn't console me.

I am glad we sat down and had a talk about it. I am glad someone sat me down and talked to me about it. I am glad everyone talked. I want to be hopeful with things again...

Thank YOU for giving me support all the time. I know I've been difficult. We've finally past a two year mark (following YOUR calculations). There will be many more to come...

Toxic Friends

2009-01-14T14:47:00.000+08:00

Just end of last year, I came across an article in a magazine listing out types of toxic friends people may have in life. There were a few catogeries which I can barely recall, but it compromised some that were jealous, some that had negative emotions, some that backstabbed and a few others. In short, friends that were not exactly healthy for us, mentally and emotionally, were classified as toxic friends. The article even had a column on how you should get rid of those with extreme tendencies of being toxic.

Before I came across that article, I've always had a different perception to what a toxic friend meant. Mainly because Nic told me he has a toxic friend. What they do is, they share all their toxic in life. All the crappy emotions and crappy moments. Basically crappy talk, dishing out all the toxic they felt towards their life. This toxic friend was there to listen out all the crap and they would help each other heal, motivate one another to carry on with life.

Toxic.

One word, two ways to be used.

I know for sure what kinda toxic friends I have. God help me please if I die of intoxication...

Look Around You...

2009-01-05T18:32:00.000+08:00

I was just lazing around in bed, waiting for my red nails to dry...

I looked around my room and realised the number of things I meant to do but haven't gotten to it yet. There are specks of dust to be wiped off, there are clothes to be re-arranged, there are things to be organized, junk to be thrown out...yes my room is kinda in a mess. I wonder how am I gonna move these things back to KL when I really move out for good. And to think that I came here only with a medium sized luggage bag.

My digital photo frame is playing on its auto mode (and YOU say I don't use it). The photos have all been jumbled up in sequence since the last time Nic added some new pictures to it. I prefer it to be sequence cause it has some meaning to it. Photos bring back so many memories doesn't it? Reminds me of my initial stepping into a relationship with Nic. Reminds me of my Phuket holiday with the weirdest group combination. Reminds me of my much missed family times.

Outside my room was my housemate, Mandy. Sitting in the living room, channel surfing and occasionally walking into her room, web surfing on her laptop. At least, that is what I see and assume. Its weird how a person I've been living with for the past four years can be so distant at times...at most times...

Oh crap...I just realised the time too...its 11.30PM...I'm way past my promised bedtime. Sorry YOU. I got carried away...

Goodnite...

Merry New Year~

2008-12-31T14:48:00.000+08:00

The clock is ticking and we are just a few hours away from welcoming the new year.

This year has been emotionally straining. With friends and family. With finance and health. Its probably something I'd like to put past me and not bring forward to a hopeful new year. But I remember life is all about learning. Maybe these experiences will just make me a stronger and tougher person geared to face new coming challenges.

I wish my friends and loved ones take with them their experiences from this year to help them face the year ahead. Of course I would wish everyone a wonderful new year, but we can't always be expecting a bed of posies can we?

Cheers to the past, the present and the future~

Happy 2009 everyone!

I.A.M.I.N.L.O.N.D.O.N.

2008-12-29T08:56:00.000+08:00

I'm sitting in the hotel room bed propped up with pillows and my laptop on my lap. Its 5.20am, London time.I feel chilly even with my thermal on and some stick it on pocket warmers under my blanket. My hands are freezing up as I type this entry.

I think the people here have the most ridiculous design for taps. The hot and cold water taps are separate in the same sink. The hot water is too hot and the cold water is too icy to be used alone. I end up brushing my teeth and washing my face mostly using the bath instead. You would think someone would've cleverly imported another design especially since this method is so totally crappy during winter. But heck no.

I miss home.

Its such a weird feeling to have after 4 years of living out and trying to be independant. I often sit about thinking about home and all the good things I left behind. My family and friends. All the gatherings I missed celebrating friend's birthday. My mom's cooking. My sister's chattering. My brother's occassional talk sessions. My dad...he's almost away from home as often as I am...

I'm just glad that I have Nic to go back to in Singapore. It was awfully bad when I opened the doors to an empty house and wished myself a pair of ruby red shoes like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. Just so I can wish myself home to my house in KL without having to worry about how many days I have to spend there and how long the journey back is gonna eat into those days.

I wonder how will it be like when I permanently move back again. Will I be missing the home I once had in Singapore? I bet I will...with all the working memories I built while I was there. My emo moments alone. My happy moments with Nic. The experience of living out with housemates. I wonder if there will be a time when I wished for those ruby red shoes again? To bring me back to the living out moments where I missed home....

What a cycle...

Season's Greetings~

2008-12-26T10:11:00.001+08:00

Merry Christmas...

I had a crazy Christmas eve celebration with Mandy and Erin. Ended up baby-sitting them after they downed like 5 different shots. Super hard to handle two girlies who were wasted to the maximum!

Lucky for me...I had a quieter Christmas day though. My first time actually celebrating with Nic. After the whole christmas eve commotion, I slept through most of the whole day. Nic was clever enough to make reservations for dinner at this restaurant called Esmirada in Orchard.

Esmirada

It was superb. The best Christmas dine out ever! The ambience was especially nice. I couldn't resist opening a bottle of champagne when the waiters told us about a promotional discount. But half a glass was all I could take and Nic had about 3 glasses. They were nice enough to wrap the bottle up for us to take away the rest of it.

We had the special Esmirada House Salad and their famous Garlic Bread for starters. It was quite a big portion and we particularly liked the bread. Nic ordered a paella dish for main and I choosed mussels with a french cream sauce. The paella wasn't anything to shout about and the mussels I thought, was a little too salty. But we had the longest dinner ever. Sitting there just slowly munching our dinner, at our own pace and sipping some champagne occasionally. So posh....

I had a whole Tiramisu to myself after dinner. Talk about being greedy...

Its so nice to be able to spend some quality time with Nic over Christmas.

Thank you for dinner sayang~

Couple's Meme

2008-12-19T19:30:00.000+08:00

You know...my boyfriend is so cute...

He secretly reads the blogs that I stalk whenever he misses me...

He discovered this couple's meme on pinkpau's blog and insisted that we did one together and post it on our blogs. So, after 3 days of pestering from him...here it goes...

tell us about the first time you met and your first impression of him/her:
There are two first times to this. Once, when we didn’t quite know each other – he had long hair, looked super thin, reminded me of some kinda mat rocker-cool dude-kinda person. And another time, after we got to know each other – 27^th January 07 we went watch Babel and had dinner – he was so different, with short hair, baby face, extremely shy (but trying so hard to hide it), nothing like how I remembered or expected him to be.

what’s a weird habit or quirk that s/he has?:
Hahaha…there is a few, but I sometimes wonder is it my quirk instead. Oh well, he has this thing about routine. Everything he does is so routine, from the amount of eggs he has for breakfast to the amount of shut eye he needs. At one point of time, I felt so secondary cause he keep wanting to do something routine instead of spending time with me.

what makes him/her happy?:
Me Me Me!! Hahaha…

what makes him/her sad?:
When I have to go away for work. Not being able to spend weekends together.

what makes him/her angry?:
Bad parenting. Lazy people. People loafing around. People who can’t work.

what excites him/her?
Directors like Clint Eastwood, Paul Haggis, Innaritu, M.Night Shyamalan. Movies like Shawshank Redemption, Crash, Love Actually. Oh ya…and Michael Jackson too.

tell us something funny about him/her:
He is funny in so many different ways. Hahaha. He does this thing over the phone sometimes when he calls me, he pretends to be some Cantonese speaking ah pek and starts shouting over the phone “HALO~ HALO~ Lei hai pin wai ah? LEI WAN PIN KOR AH? HALO?”

what’s s/he like at home?:
Very caring. Takes good care of me and is ever so patient. Super cute and very goofy too.

what’s s/he like at work/school?:
Apparently, when he was at school, he broke many girlie’s hearts. Then when in college and uni, he was extremely competitive in studies and assignments. He is a natural born workaholic. Works like a robot, non stop and chop chop chop. Extremely hard on himself when things don’t turn out well.

describe his/her room:
He doesn’t have much choice with the rooms he rents. But back home, his room is dark blue, quite cosy, with a metal kinda thing he uses for his wardrobe. Its kinda mysterious too….just like him…

what’s his/her best friend like?:
He has three guy friends he constantly hangs out with when back in KL. Fabian he know from college – he’s a real funny guy, very easy to talk to, they share the same passion for film. Jerry – his neighbour, sports buddy, super shy guy who can be quite quiet at times. Nelsen – also his neighbour and sports buddy, very friendly and talkative, always telling jokes, we studied together in college (that’s how I really met Nic). Then there are a few more…Vivien, Esther…I have yet to meet.

do you know who s/he hates the most?: Hmm…Hate? He thinks it’s a waste of energy to be angry at people, so I don’t think he’d go the extreme and hate somebody.

have you met his/her exes?:
One actually. And I met her before I even knew him.

do his/her parents like you?:
Yes. I think I’m getting along with his whole family fine. But just not being able to spend time with them probably cut off some of my brownie points.

what’s the first thing s/he would do or say if s/he fell down and scraped their knee:
I think it depends on who he is with. If with his friends, he’d probably frown and say, “Fuck!”. If with me, he’d probably have a loud exclamation and look at me with doggy eyes. Hahaha J

what would s/he do in an emergency situation with other people involved?:
He’ll panic, be scared and excited all at the same time. Then take a deep breath and start organizing who do what.

which shop would s/he spend the most time at in a shopping mall?:
Fragrance or timepiece shop.

what would s/he have for a typical breakfast?:
Three eggs, 2 slice peanut butter and bread, some muesli with milk and maybe a banana.

where would s/he want to go for dinner?:
The Soup Restaurant, Aston’s, TGIF, Sushi Tei!

what kind of movie would s/he choose at the cinema?:
Selective ones. Mostly those directed by his favourite directors.

describe his/her taste in music: very 80’s, some oldies, michael jackson, prodigy, oasis, chris daughtry, selective pop songs with lyrics he can relate to.

if s/he wasnt going out with you, who would s/he be going out with?:
He would still be single and waiting for me. Haha J

what item in his/her wardrobe would you like to burn:
His really old short denim pants with a red ink stain.

what is s/he good at?:
Drawing potraits, writing, badminton, words, sudoku, wrapping weird shaped presents, giving surprises, sweet talking…

what is s/he totally horrible at?:
Differentiating colours. Like totally…light yellow is white and torquise is green!

what’s something about him/her that is annoying/infuriating?:
He always mixes his used clothes with those he freshly clean! So confusing! And he puts stuff on my bed (like those filthy paperbags he left on the floor during dinner or in the MRT). But now he knows I don’t like that, so only sometimes, he purposely does it to annoy me. Hehe…

what’s something that you two fundamentally disagree on?:
I can’t really think of something prominent. But I think it’s the way my friends treat me and how I treat them that we constantly debate on. Besides that, I can’t really think of anything else. Cause we always seem to be able to persuade one another to agree on everything else.

what’s something that you two agree whole-heartedly on?:
Our family upbringing and what kinda future we want together.

is s/he possessive?: Yes. But very subtle.

why would s/he succeed in life?: Perserverance, intelligence, being hard working. Very very focused in life.

what is the coolest gift that s/he has ever given you?: The digital frame I wanted so badly and Aramsa Spa treatment to date!

what is s/he obsessed with?: Being healthy and looking good. Also, developing characters for his script writing.

what does s/he avoid at all costs?: Singing in public! I like karaoke so much but he won’t even give it a go….

what does s/he spend the most money on?: Eating out with me and everyday stuff which is of good quality (inclusive of his groceries).

describe his/her typical sunday: With me – sleep in till past 11am, dress to go out for lunch, window shop or spend time at home snuggling and just talking, have dinner (or not), send me home / go home / stayover ( or vice versa), sleep early for Monday’s work. Without me – wake up about 10am latest, have breakfast, surf internet, have lunch, play football manager or work on script, afternoon nap, watch tv, have dinner, rest early.

why would s/he be dangerous?: Very aggressive and commanding when he wants to be. Can kill you in his script.

tell us about a time s/he looked absolutely gorgeous:
Everytime when I wake up and the first thing I see is him. He looks absolutely stunning.

what’s something about him/her that would surprise all of his/her friends?:
He is all act tough on the outside and super softie on the inside.

what do you love most about him/her?: I love the way he cares for his family. I love the prayers he says at night incoperating people he knows are important to me. I love how selfless he can be when he is with me. I love the warmth he fills my heart with everyday. I love the way his eyes tries to tell something when he looks at me. I love most when he smiles at me and tell me he loves me too.

the biggest lesson you have learnt from loving your partner:
Confidence helps you battle insecurities. Love helps you build confidence.

You can read his meme here: www.nicholasandrewjohn.multiply.com

I Want To Get Better...

2008-12-18T14:47:00.000+08:00

Sigh Sigh Sigh Sigh....

Since last Friday, I haven't been feeling well at all. First it was a terrible sore throat, followed by the usual cold and cough. And just when I thought everything was getting better during the weekend, I started perging! Like having diarrhea. Damn. Its not about how often I've been going to the toilet, but how bad the stomach discomfort is and coming out from the toilet hoping nobody will need to use it for the next few hours...

I've been to the doctor like 3 times since Friday. Nothing much seems to be helping. Then I developed some kinda rash on Tuesday night. Doctor suspected that I had denggue but ruled it out when he took my temperature. I was barely running a fever. Then he told me maybe I had rubella (german measles). Asked me to stay away from pregnant ladies. I confined myself to the house even though I had a date with Nic (he purposely swapped shifts at work so he could go Christmas shopping with me!!) Sigh~ The horror...

I would think after the diarrhea medicine, I'll show some signs of improvement. But it seems to be getting worse. So I went to get a second opinion from another doctor. I had a whole long lecture about how stupid I was to go see him. Should be followed up by the same doctor. I should be resting and give it time to recover. Yadda yadda yadda....Like WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!? And he said most probably I have denggue and should go to the hospital for a blood test.

I thought he was a little insane and emotionally disturbed as a doctor. I decided to go back to my previous doctor. He told me I'm showing signs of recovery and I should stop taking the diarrhea tablets. But just now I came home...I had to run...for the toilet again...I'm totally confused now.

I'm also torn between going to work tomorrow or staying home to get better. All because I want my Christmas to be OFF.

How? How? How?

Blog Surfing...

2008-12-01T15:19:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, when I feel in need to have some sort of human connection or gather some life inspiration or just wanna find a reason to bitch about people or just purely look at interesting photographing skills, I blog surf.

Sometimes, when I'm back in KL, I would randomly click on my sister's usual dose of blog sites. She found me reading some blogs when I was back in KL last month and introduced me to her current favourite one, www.quaintly.net. Written by a young girl who is nick named 'Pink Pau' and has a 'Martian' for a boyfriend. Surprisingly mature for her very young age.

I was in a lousy mood earlier today, cause I couldn't cheer my grouchy boyfriend and knowing that he was inadvertly forced to swap shifts with his colleague without his knowledge and thus causing us to lose our dinner date together. Now we can only squeeze in a supper date before he sends me home in a rush so we can both get enough rest for work tomorrow. *focus* I almost forgot why I was typing this paragraph. Okay. It was because I was feeling lousy I submitted to reading KarenCheng, which Nic thinks I stalk all the time (but she had no new updates at the moment), and I suddenly remembered this 'Pink Pau'.

I browsed through some of her entries, amazed with how precise she describes every thought and every feeling. Reminds me of the first few times when I was reading Nic's blog. I like those kinda writing. Reminds me of how much I secretly love to write and how much I miss reading materials that tugs at your heart, messes with your mind and just makes you think.

There are so many things that I can relate to through her different rantings. There are many things that I'm reminded of when reading certain blog entries. It creates this emotional bubble which bursts when you snap out of that moment, knowing that you are reading something belonging to someone else's personal life. But yet it felt familiar and sometimes real to you.

I don't quite know what I'm getting at through this entry. But I think I just found another blog to stalk....*smiles*

Now I feel all good again...ready to give it another try to cheer up a grumpy Nic. :-)

Jet-Lagging...

2008-11-30T17:28:00.000+08:00

Two days is not sufficient for a normal being to recover from jet lag.

I'm just back from Frankfurt and New York. My body has been working like totally opposite since Friday. I started to feel hungry during the late night which is the approximate timing I have my breakfast overseas. Sucks to the max....

I'm so tired on Friday, I slept almost instantly. But I had probably too long a rest during the day time, and Saturday saw me staring into the dark until almost 4am in the morning. Now I've gotta just gather all my tiredness and put myself to bed cause I'm expected to wake up at 3.40am for work. You would think its gonna be alright, since I get to sleep later in the day when I supposedly come back from work. But no. I think that would only further screw up my sleeping pattern cause I'm due for morning shift again on Tuesday.

Sigh~ Life is tough...*shakes head*

Attachment

2008-11-20T19:23:00.000+08:00

It seems to be getting more and more difficult to be away these days.

I recently overheard a conversation of my colleague (I wasn't eavesdropping, she was speaking really loud). Her boyfriend is based overseas and she stays in Singapore. The nature of our job enables her to visit her boyfriend regularly if not often. They've maintained a relationship as such for about 8 years. She used to be really sad when leaving him everytime. But these days, she says she's alright with it. It almost feels like nothing. Just another routine.

I beg to differ.

I've grown so attached to Nic, especially recently. It feels so sad when I leave for another country. The only motivation I have is telling myself when I'll be back and when I get to see him next. I guess most people will either say I'm too sticky as a girlfriend or tell me this is just a honeymoon period in the relationship. But I know for sure it isn't.

This attachment is a form of growth in our relationship. I don't know how you can measure growth, but it feels just about right to describe it in these words. Its a wonderful feeling though. Nobody makes me happy the way he does...*smiles*

I'll be back in a week...be good...

Tiredness...

2008-11-07T09:56:00.000+08:00

I've been tired...

Family issues have been numbing me. Its like a never ending ferris wheel. Up and down, round and round. Sigh...

But I think living out in Singapore away from my family draws my attention away sometimes. Cause visually I don't see it. So I'm kinda like in hiding. It makes me feel guilty sometimes. Like I'm being happy here cause I've got Nic to accompany me. But I know everyone in my family is tired with their own problems, tired with trying to understand each other, tired trying to be patient.

Being tired can be lethal isn't it? It'll make you lose concentration, test your patience, play with your emotions, and just basically drain your every ounce of energy.

Tell me...have you been tired lately?

Tuna VS Tuna

2008-10-09T15:09:00.004+08:00

Last weekend, I wanted to satisfy my craving for tuna steak so Nic and me decided to cook some for ourselves. We bought two tuna steaks but couldn't decide on how to cook it, so we decided on a cook off instead...

The outcome was surprisingly delicious. Nic made the steak with garlic, cheese and added some peach vodka. It was 'absolutly' interesting. I decided to make mine a black pepper steak (some recipe I saw from TV). A little over spiced, but I thought it was pretty nice for my first attempt. Hehe~

I think its a real good idea that we had this 'cooking competition'. We get to share our food at the end. And we had super fun trying to outdo each other. I actually poured away Nic's special sauce for the steak and he thought I did it on purpose cause I was overly competitive! Hahaha~ Sorry baby, it was an accident, really! *looks innocent*

I wonder what's on the menu for our next cook off?

Capetown

2008-09-27T23:59:00.000+08:00

View from my room

Capetown is a super scenic place. The skies are exceptionally blue with really white clouds. The weather has been great, with cool winds and plenty of sunshine (although it is a little more chilly than what I expected). I've never been excited to sight see for a very long time.

The highlight for today was whale watching cause the whales from the Artic Ocean has migrated to the shores of Capetown since September and will stay on till the month of November. I went with some colleagues and we were in luck...

Part of the crowd that was there for some whale sightings...

The whales were playful and we could see them flipping in the sea. There were several times which they jumped up from the water. But I was busy posing for the camera and only managed to catch the big splash after...

Sunset

We had a long scenic drive around the costal area back to the hotel. I never knew South Africa would be this pretty...really...It makes my slaving through work all worthwhile again...

Sloth On The Couch...

2008-09-20T14:28:00.000+08:00

I'm home alone today for the first time after almost 3 weeks. It feels weird. Not having someone to say anything to or hang out with. It feels weird.

I spent the whole afternoon looking through some old photos. Those from college, from my graduation, from when I first moved to Singapore, from my holiday trips and hang outs with my friends. I miss everyone. There's been so many people I haven't seen since ages.

Sometimes I wonder about what my friends are doing. But I'm just so tired from work, I prefer to stay in when I get home to KL sometimes. I know...thats a real selfish thought. And I've probably been on this subject for one too many times. Sigh~

I guess I'll have to work out something if I really wanna spend more time catching up with people I've lost touch with....

Post Holiday Blues...

2008-09-16T20:09:00.000+08:00

Arriving in Phuket...

I went for another holiday in Thailand recently. This time to Phuket with Nic and a group of friends. Overall, the trip was unexpected enjoyable. I had an unexpected outburst. We made some unexpected friends as well. But I've had enough of Pad Thais and Tom Yum Gongs for this year.

We almost didn't make it for the trip. There were demonstrations going on in various parts of Thailand and some of the airports were closed. Phuket airport opened just in time for our departure. But we were concerned about our safety and hesitated for quite abit before we actually decided to go on with the trip. I'm glad we did in the end...

I spent the rest of my leave in KL. It was nice being able to stay home for such a long time instead of just my normal two or three days visit. But it obviously made leaving much more difficult...all over again. Especially since Nic stayed on and sent me off when I boarded the bus back to Singapore. *sob sob sob*

Wish someone would pay me to holiday and travel around the world...

*pause*

Wait...aren't I already doing that?

Royal Coppenhagen~

2008-08-26T12:55:00.001+08:00

On Sunday, Nic took me to this extremely posh looking high-tea place hidden at a corner in Takashimaya, Orchard. Its called Royal Coppenhagen. I have never seen this place, yet alone heard of it before. Thanks to Elaine (Nic's colleague) for recommending Nic to bring me there. I absolutely love this place as it doesn't just offer sandwiches, cakes, tea and coffee but also a selection of other mouth watering courses...

We ordered a salad which consist of salmon and potatoes with some yummy sauces. I totally forgot to take a picture of it until we were scraping the plate clean. Then I had the 'Selfish Pasta', which was super duper with pesto and tomato base sauce served together with a selection of seafood topped on linguine. MMmmm~

Selfish Pasta

Nic ordered the 'Baked Cod' which also came with pesto sauce. The fish was served with mashed potatoes and french beans wrapped with bacon. It was superb and now Nic is crazy about pesto sauce.

Baked Cod

We were amazed with the presentation for each dish and totally overwhelmed with the flavours. We wanted so bad to order the green tea cake for dessert but it was sold out already. Its a totally cool hang out place, for couples, friends or even family. Can't wait to go back for another amazing experience! Thank you baby...

I.M.A.L.U.L.U.

2008-08-21T11:02:00.000+08:00

I can't believe how silly things I've done in my lifetime...But I'm sure there are a great many that can be written into a super thick book!

My favourite pyjamas fell to its death yesterday night when I was bringing in my laundry. Note: I live on the 16th floor, the highest on this building. Its not like my pjs are extremely expensive or even branded to begin with, but it was one of my favourite ones. And you know how its like losing your favourite things....*sad sigh*

The best story is yet to come...

I have previously blogged about losing my week old handphone in the cab. I also recall writing about leaving my house keys in the cab. I think I have left the bulk of my rented chinese dramas in the cab last night. It hasn't been confirmed. But there isn't anywhere else to left to look. From the shopping bags I brought home yesterday, to the big bag I was using yesterday (yes, go ahead and ask me why I didn't just keep it in that big bag), there really isn't any trace of it. I do remember walking out of the shop with the plastic bag in hand though. So where else can it be other than in the cab...

I'm pretty sure regardless how many times I remind myself to look at the cab seat before I leave, I'm gonna repeat this humiliating routine another time in the future...

*bangs head on wall....a few times*

Give Me 25 Hours~

2008-08-20T11:40:00.000+08:00

I need more time...more time!!

I hate it that I'm getting less time in Singapore these days. Work has been scheduled in such a way that I'm not around very often. Its good in a way, cause being away for a long time means that I earn a little more on allowance. But its killing me, cause I've got Nic whom I've rarely spend time with over the last month, I've got a messy room I've not been able to get organized, I've got friends I wanna call out to meet, I've got a freaking tired body that doesn't feel well rested, I've got a growing tummy which needs super exercise to get rid of (hopefully), I've got some fitness lessons I haven't attended since two months back, and tonnes of other things I just wanna start doing.

Give me more time...more more more!!

What's Your Favourite?

2008-08-17T19:03:00.000+08:00

I was just reading through my blog entries for the past one year. So different the way I write last time than compared to now. My beginning entries were forced written, like I'm writing for the sake of other people reading it. Then it improved a little, when I had more time to spend in front of the computer, I wrote a little more light hearted ones. Now, I've matured a little more, perspectives have changed...

Its weird, but entertaining to read those older entries. It makes me wanna blog all over again. Maybe I should do this more often. Help me organize my problems, sort out my unhappy thoughts, share my joyful moments...wait...isn't this the exact same reason why I started blogging? Sigh~

Some things just need to be rekindled...

Last Day In Abu Dhabi~

2008-08-13T17:37:00.001+08:00

I can't believe it. I've been in Abu Dhabi since last Wednesday, exactly one whole week already! The weather has been over 30 to 40 degrees. I've been hybernating in my room for most of the times. I think I'm getting accustomed to the time difference too (its GMT +4 over here), I'll be in deep trouble when I'm back home. I'll be waking up past 1pm and having dinner at 11pm. Sigh~ So unhealthy...

View from my hotel room window. Looks pretty glum

but extremely hot and stuffy outside....

The evening view...even hotter!

Its been great being able to do nothing but just hybernate all the time. But I was getting crazy not being able to talk to my loved ones or hanging out with friends. Thank God they have internet connection here. Otherwise I'll be doomed with boredom...

Oh well...I'm checking out later...

Tata~

Learning Moments...

2008-08-12T22:18:00.002+08:00

You know, in one's life, learning is something you will do everyday. Regardless if you are learning from your mistakes, or other's mistakes, learning from scratch, learning something to expand your knowledge, its a never ending learning process....

I learned some new things during this week. About relationships. Between lovers, there isn't any secrets we should keep, but there are things that we should learn not to say when its not the appropriate moment. Between friends, understanding is good foundation to build a friendship, but never ever for once think, that you understand people completely. Between family, no matter what happens, we are still from the same flesh and blood.

I was reminded today, that it isn't the material things I receive from Nic that makes my day. It's not the gifts that come to mind when I think about him. Its not important if my friends thinks he doesn't spend on me. Its the way he treats me, love me, understand me that makes others different. Its the things he is willing to say and do for me that makes him special from the rest. What people see doesn't mean its true. What people don't see doesn't mean its not there.

I was reminded today, that no matter how good friends two people can be, each person still is entitled to their own opinions. They can share their views, but that doesn't mean that they have to force it on another person or agree with one another.

There are many things out there which I have not learned, do not know about. But the many things that I do know, and have learned, I shall keep it in mind and pave my future with it.

Staring into space...

2008-08-02T22:16:00.002+08:00

I'm in London.

The time difference is seven hours behind Singapore time.

I'm staring into space, wanting to sleep so badly, but its only 7pm over here. I can feel my body clock dying inside. Its screaming to me, "Stop torturing me!". You would think I should be used to it by now. But jet lag happens everytime. The only thing I've learned is to arrange my time in such a way that I don't sleep too early or wake up too late in certain places.

Blue skies in London

By the way, yesterday's weather was pretty good in London. Fit for a picnic actually. I walked through the park three times. The lengthy road reminded me of the opening scene in 'The Happening'.

Creepy...

Hole In The Pocket..

2008-07-25T11:29:00.000+08:00

Just came back from my holiday in Bangkok. Spent a little more than what I expected. Nothing new, since that happened the last time I was there too. I spent every single cent I had the last time. At least this time I had some left over. The thing is, when unpacking, I realised that half the shopping are all meant for other people. We need to make a new rule about shopping for souveniours.

Anyway...

The trip was okay. Apart from small, normal squabbling between family members, undecisive moments under hot scorching sun, some unfriendly bitchy encounters, and conned money, it was quite a memorable trip. We had our fair share of laughter and light hearted bonding sessions too.

Maybe I might write about the trip a little more when I'm in the mood....

Right now, tired, back-aching, gotta think about work later...

Prepping for Bangkok~

2008-07-16T17:47:00.000+08:00

I am feeling a little anxious. Everytime I'm preparing for a holiday I feel that way. Though I'm well trained to pack and unpack, but somehow when its for personal holiday, packing just feels different. So worried that I might forget something.

First time going overseas with my family. First time without my father. First time I'm gonna be responsible for a family trip. I feel tension. But I try not to show it. I hope we'll have a good time and perhaps catch up on some bonding session which is way overdue...

*heart pounds with excitement*

It's gonna be a long trip away again. Wish YOU didn't have to work....

Gone Birthday Gone..

2008-07-08T20:37:00.000+08:00

2nd July 2008...

My birthday came and gone...

Its amazing how fast the world evolves around you. Even if you stopped whatever you were doing right now, the clock is still ticking, the world is still turning.

I had an early birthday celebration this year. Was back in KL the weekend before and had dinner with my family. Then Nic took me out to another dinner the following night and we had a bubbalicious shrimp time (we dined in at Bubba Gump, but I think Nic didn't enjoy his main course as much, so maybe I'm just speaking for myself). We went home after that and had a mini-sing-a-long session to the cheesecake my mommy bought for me.

That was cake No.1.

Then I came back to Singapore, had some dinner with my housemate Bernard. Mandy came home that night too, and she bought me another birthday cake! So sweet. I got another chance to make a birthday wish.

That was cake No.2.

Then I left for work on my birthday. Some of my colleagues knew about it. One of them even bought me a cup cake! What a treat.

That was cake No.3 (sort of).

Then when finished working, everyone was gathered in one area and guess what? There was another birthday cake sitting there for me! What a surprise! Out of courtesy and politeness, I obviously had to have a piece of that cake. Not that I was ungrateful...but seriously, 4 cakes for a birthday....I don't remember so much about cakes after I started working...really...

That was cake No.4.

I had a very nice birthday. Wish I got to celebrate with my loved ones on my real day though. It would've been nice. But 4 cakes really...how lucky can I be right? Unexpected surprise celebration from my colleagues was quite a highlight too.

I feel fat from all that cake...

By the way, I love all my presents this year! *smiles*

KL To Singapore...

2008-06-30T19:19:00.000+08:00

Today's journey was familiar....

Familiar bus...

Familiar roads...

Familiar trees...

Familiar buildings...

The only thing missing was the familiar face beside me and the familiar hand to hold...

Come back quick...I miss YOU...

Teeth-ing Problems...

2008-06-23T12:47:00.000+08:00

Ever since I was young, I've never been a fan of visiting the dentist. I remember that we had to have a dental check up every few months once in primary school and some of my friends would be called to stay back for refill of tooth or some other extraction thingy. Thank goodness I escaped all that.

My most recent visit to the dentist was maybe about two years ago for scaling of teeth. I remember the dentist asked me when was my last visit. I was a little embarassed to answer but told him that it was many years back. He obviously laughed and told me, "Girl, you should know that a dentist appointment should be made every 6 months once...not 6 years once, okay?" *shy grin*

Anyway, I made an appointment today with the dentist. A much reluctant one. I thought I had an ulser on Friday night, but apparently the pain was getting from bad to worse on Saturday and I even had a swell on my cheek. So its either a wisdom tooth growing or a very gross infection (which I refuse to believe it was).

After an X-ray and much poking around in my mouth, the dentist confirmed that it was infact a wisdom tooth and I had to extract it cause it was growing in a weird angle and might cause infection and just be a huge nuisance to me. So I had it remove. Super scary experience for me since I've not been through anything like that since primary school. I was trying so hard to act adult and not let that child in me out. And no...I didn't cry.

I'm home now bitting on gauze which is damn bloody gross, like literally. The numbness is wearing off and I can slowly feel the pain creeping in. Sigh~

Do you think I'm any wiser?

By the way, I get to keep my wisdom tooth. Anyone wanna see it?

Konichiwa~

2008-06-15T18:32:00.000+08:00

Greetings from Japan. I'm in Tokyo now. Super tired. Went to visit a temple in Asakusa and spent the rest of the day shopping. I almost had a headache trying to pack my bag just now.

Actually, I can't wait to get home. It seems like I've been away for months. At least it feels that way.

Japan has lots of cool stuff. I never fail to be amazed by the innovative stuff they sell here. And the packaging always seems perfect. So cool...no need to wrap presents. Hehe...

The only thing I missed out this trip is the salmon, sashimi, sushi and YOU. Sigh~

Note to YOU: I realise I haven't been leaving notes for you on my bloggie anymore. I miss YOU.

Can I Buy Your Time?

2008-06-08T22:16:00.001+08:00

I'm back late from work. Staying up to do some tidying and laundry. Tomorrow I've got lots to do. Gotta pack for trip on early Tuesday morning, appointment in the afternoon, small chit chat with Mandy when I come back, go get Nic from office and have a nice dinner before I sleep early for the following day's work. I don't feel like I've got enough time. Can I buy yours? Sigh~

This reminds me of a story I heard from YOU.

About the little boy who asked his daddy why he had to work all the time. The daddy told him in a grouchy manner, that he worked so hard all the time to provide better living conditions for the family. Then one day, the little boy asked his daddy how much he earned in a day, and asked him for the exact same amount to spend. His daddy got so angry and scolded him for being ungrateful for what he already had and shame on him to ask for more. When asked what he wanted with that amount of money, the little boy answered him, "So I can buy your time and spend a day with you".

I'm not very good at story-telling. I know. I think I should just go to bed now and think of ways to buy time....

ZZZzzzz~

Need Umbrella?

2008-06-06T20:12:00.003+08:00

I was browsing through some photos this afternoon and I found this. Long lost photo I took last year when I was back in KL. It was raining heavily and I looked out at the porch to find my mom's laundry decorated with umbrellas.

My home awning has got holes. I never knew umbrellas could be used this way. Amazing.

Happy Mother's Day...Not...

2008-05-11T17:57:00.003+08:00

The thing about my family is...

We always appear so united on the outside. We look like a happy bunch, with the perfect parents and perfect kids and perfect sibling relationship going on...

The truth about my family is...

We always have quarrels and are constantly shouting at one another. We always have pissed off moments with one another and cold wars and emo moments...

At current...

I'm suffering emotional and its really depressing. Cause I've moved out of home for coming four years and only come home once a month, these vibes suddenly, collectively fall on me everytime I come home. Its a super overwhelming feeling, not in a good way.

You know how you've been away from home, you miss the good times, you miss your family, you miss everything. But when you get back to this place you so wanna be in and it suddenly doesn't fit your picture, its like a panic moment. How do you get all of it back in one piece? How?

I try and ease the lines out between everyone. Its not easy, cause I'm there, listening to each and everyone's frustration and I've gotta remain cool and calm. Then you go from one person to another until you think you've got it ironed out. But it only takes one...just one tiny, minor missed out line to put your whole family back into that situation you so carefully and painstakingly pulled them out from. It sucks...big time...

Sometimes I feel like venting out too...But I know it'll only make things worse...

*breathe gal...breathe...*

I want to...

2008-05-01T18:23:00.003+08:00

blog...

But I suddenly feel empty.
Like I've lost all the words I want to speak.
I can't remember what I wanted to say.
That's probably what happens when YOU've been away for too long...

I need to find YOU.
Find me.
Come back quick...
Please...

Staying Healthy~

2008-04-10T22:39:00.003+08:00

I've never been very concious with my eating habits for the past few years. I've always believed in my own personal motto, 'Eat first, think later'. Only after my Hong Kong holiday last year in May did I realise I was putting on weight and looking rounder than usual.

From then, I slowly cut down my food intake and ate only enough to make me full, instead of being overly full-until-can-die type of full. It was tough and took a whole lot of discipline to stay away from junks and desserts. For over a few months I did that and was happy when I dropped one to two kgs.

It was an achievement. For me at least. Cause during the whole growing up process, I've never refrained myself from eating. I was quite blessed to be able to eat big portions and fattening food without actually having a weight problem. I would lick every platter clean. Like literally. It was like a skill. Showing off that I can gobble down food that most girlies would scorn at or deem as 'comfort food'. It was fun...at that point of time.

I'm totally against that now. Maybe its the age catching up. Or probably the fact that I've seen so many people I know suffering from health problems. I'm actually trying to adopt healthy eating habits. I've not completely stopped eating junk, but more or less, I haven't touched it intentionally or bought any home for a very long time now. I now snack on fruits, yoghurt bars, cereals and nuts. Something I'm extremely proud of (at this point of time), cause not everyone can be disciplined to do that.

I picked up exercising too. I sometimes go for a jog and try to go gym for light exercises. I love it. And I love that I have someone to share this healthy lifestyle with. I hope its something we will continue doing for a long long time....